Forever Is Never Enough

by Shelley (Jedi Penguin)

Fandom:Doctor Who
Summary:How does a one-sided forever love work? One night at a time.
Words:920
Rating:PG
Disclaimer:The BBC owns the Doctor and his entire universe. Lucky bastards.

Note: Written as a backup fic for the Multi-Fandom Lyric Wheel. Per Alienorx's request, I used "Lullaby" by the Dixie Chicks as the inspiration for this fic.


The Doctor slouched against the wall in Rose's room and watched her breathe. In. Out. In again. Life brought forth in its simplest terms.

He shouldn't be here. The TARDIS had taken quite a beating lately and he'd been putting repairs off for far too long. He'd sent Rose to bed early so that he could work through the night without distractions, but here he was. Not just distracted, but completely bewitched.

Giving in to the inevitable, the Doctor quickly stripped to his shorts and slipped in beside his Companion. The TARDIS had been in need of repairs for nine hundred years now; she'd wait until tomorrow. Besides, he was more broken than the TARDIS these days and she was better at fixing him than he was at fixing his ship. Another night in Rose's bed was simple economy of effort.

Rose snuggled into him, as he'd known she would. She was close enough that he could feel the cool whistle of her breath tickling his chest, could hear her heart pounding out a rhythm that he could never quite match.

He loved her of course. He'd loved almost everyone who'd ever traveled with him, but within the privacy of his own thoughts he could admit that he'd loved some more than others. Half a millennium after the Time Lords ripped Jamie from his life and his hearts still ached for the boy; Anji left less than a hundred years ago and he remembered her with only a vague sort of fondness. Rose was still with him, but he already knew that she was in the Jamie category. The forever category.

Did these short-lived humans understand what it meant to love or to be loved forever? In his more logical moments, he rejected the possibility. Humans tossed about words like "forever" and "eternity" without the slightest clue as to what those words meant, so how could they possibly comprehend what it meant to love someone until the end of time?

Ah, but logic and love seldom went hand in hand, did they? Humans might have a limited grasp of the absolute, but their ability to love was almost unrivalled throughout the universe. They'd even taught him to love. Him, a Time Lord. Time Lords understood infinity but were usually ignorant of love; if he could learn how to love from his human friends, perhaps they were capable of comprehending forever through acquaintance with him.

But did any of his human friends want to be loved forever? Did Rose? She might move on one day, leave him for a planet-bound life. Would she be happy with her husband and children and grandchildren, knowing that he was out there, loving her just as much as he did at this very moment? Even if she stayed with him, did she really want to be burdened with the knowledge that he'd still love her long after she'd crumbled into dust?

Had any of his Companions ever benefited from eternal love? He loved them forever, and it wasn't enough to keep them happy or content. In some instances, it hadn't even kept them alive.

He knew this, and yet, he continued to love. He couldn't help it. Maybe a forever love would be enough for Rose. If he kept her safe, if he put her above all else, maybe it might be enough. He wouldn't be careless of her safety, the way he'd been Peri's and Romana's, he'd be more cognizant of her feelings than he'd been of Ace's, and he'd never take her presence for granted the way he had Jo's and Sarah's. He'd vowed to mend his ways after Tegan left; now that nothing remained to him but Rose, he'd damned well better live up to that promise.

The Doctor wanted to ask Rose whether it would be enough for her to be loved forever, but he didn't dare. If she said no, he'd have to let her go and he didn't think he could do that. He'd let too many forever loves slip through his fingers before the Time War, but he was a different man now. He was never giving her up. Not ever.


Lyrics

Lullaby

by the Dixie Chicks

      They didn't have you where I come from
      Never knew the best was yet to come
      Life began when I saw your face
      And I hear your laugh like a serenade
      How long do you want to be loved
      Is forever enough, is forever enough
      How long do you want to be loved
      Is forever enough
      Cause I'm never, never giving you up
      I slip in bed when you're asleep
      To hold you close and feel your breath on me
      Tomorrow there'll be so much to do
      So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you
      How long do you want to be loved
      Is forever enough, is forever enough
      How long do you want to be loved
      Is forever enough
      Cause I'm never, never giving you up
      As you wander through this troubled world
      In search of all things beautiful
      You can close your eyes when you're miles away
      And hear my voice like a serenade
      How long do you want to be loved
      Is forever enough, is forever enough
      How long do you want to be loved
      Is forever enough
      Cause I'm never, never giving you up
      How long do you want to be loved
      Is forever enough, is forever enough
      How long do you want to be loved
      Is forever enough
      Cause I'm never, never giving you up
      Is forever enough
      Cause I'm never, never giving you up