A Commander's Lot

(posted to the B7 list on Thu 30 Mar 2000)

(to the tune of A Policeman's Lot by Mr. Gilbert and Mr. Sullivan)

by Judith Proctor and Kathryn A

When an officer's not engaged in his employment - his employment
Or maturing his felonious little plans - little plans
His capacity for innocent enjoyment - 'cent enjoyment
Is just the same as any other man's - other man's
I dream about the man I'd like to smother - like to smother
And whose arms and legs I'd really love to break - love to break
He's a child-molesting bastard with no mother - with no mother
And I really want to kill that bastard Blake - bastard Blake

When there's Federation duty to be done - to be done
A Commander's lot is such a happy one - happy one

When I've spent the day a-massacring rebels - 'cring rebels
And kicked the bleeding bodies on the floor - on the floor
I like to go back home and feed my goldfish - feed my goldfish
With minced-up pieces of the cat next door - cat next door.
Then I lie in bed at night asleep and dreaming - sleep and dreaming
And I think I've caught Blake in a cunning trap - cunning trap
But then I find that Servalan's a-scheming - 'lan's a-scheming
And she's carefully fixed it so I take the rap - take the rap

When there's Federation duty to be done - to be done
A Commander's lot is such a risky one - risky one

(inspired by watching Seek-Locate-Destroy)