Comments on Passing Fair
| Comments Elsewhere: | http://kerravonsen.dreamwidth.org/610432.html , http://kerravonsen.livejournal.com/614216.html |
| Comments Elsewhere: | http://kerravonsen.dreamwidth.org/610432.html , http://kerravonsen.livejournal.com/614216.html |
Yay! Yay! Oh, what fun. I'll say, you have really surprised me, I'd never have thought of you doing that, even though I suspected you were writing my request. :)
All the characters are wonderful - your PGP Avon is always so fourth season, I don't know how you do it. This is such a treat, having my favorites together and in character.
So many nice touches - Soolin feeling like the branches and leaves were out to get them; Vila and Soolin arguing about taking Avon; the rhinoceros; the 'knot of refusal'; 'reflection of a greater beauty' (okay, that line makes me wonder where you'd planned to go); Avon's certainty about the nature of the afterlife... ;-)
And the pomegranate seeds! ::scratches head:: Did you know that I like to work references to that story into my own stuff because it's one of my favorites, or is that a happy coincidence?
Okay, I'm going to go away now and be good and work on my own stories and NOT bug you about how desperately I want to see what happens next...
(from http://kerravonsen.livejournal.com/57110.html)
I was going to say that 'Passing Fair' felt unfinished, but I see from the above comments that it is. Good: I look forward to reading more of it.
I also noticed "this beauty before him was just a reflection of a greater beauty" and wondered if this was to be a Narnia-type world. That additional "one that he might never see" says a lot: does Avon believe in God and an afterlife after all? He does mention going to hell somewhere in the series I think. I especially liked: Vila's insistence on taking Avon was possibly out of bitterness; Soolin's knowledge of faery; the old poem at the beginning indicating established legend; her less-than-delight about the unicorn (what does she know?); and her pacing like a restless tiger. I can very much see Avon erecting a glass wall, and I enjoyed his logical analysis of where they were.
More, please. I want to know what happens next and why is Soolin so distrustful of the place.
And I don't get the pomegranate seed reference, sorry.
Now I'm here, I remember why I didn't comment earlier: I hadn't read your other story, and now I have. Zhaan is so very Zhaan, and the description "a delicate tracery of white spots blending and contrasting with the blue, as if it were a camouflage pattern meant for the depths of mottled blue seas" is just beautiful. And the rejected Zaphod nursing two drinks made me laugh.
Thanks for those.
(from http://kerravonsen.livejournal.com/57110.html)
Thank you, Kathryn! I really like the idea of Avon healed of all his pains and regrets, living on in Faery. Okay, sure, there are problems for humans there...but nothing at all compared to what he's faced in the real world.
But...does this mean Avon was a virgin? :D
(from http://astrogirl2.livejournal.com/136289.html)
Nice start
(from fanfiction.net)
Thank you. I found your story compelling, and wanted to try to convey the emotional core as much as possible. Such a striking juxtaposition of sci-fi and fantasy - and the idea that stories would live on, despite Federation oppression.
(from http://community.livejournal.com/remixthedrabble/118433.html)