%
2nd Doctor: "I'm simply a messenger. Officially, I'm here quite
             unofficially."
 Dastari  : "You'll explain that paradox, I'm sure."
2nd Doctor: "I'm a pariah, outlawed from Time Lord society. So they can
             always deny sending me."
				(Doctor Who: The Two Doctors)
%
2nd Doctor: "I think it's time I said goodbye, Brigadier. I really
             shouldn't be here at all. I'm not exactly breaking the
             Laws of Time, but I am bending them a little."
 Brigadier: "You never did bother much about rules as I remember."
				(Doctor Who: The Five Doctors)
%
"First things first - but not necessarily in that order."
			-- The Doctor
%
Leela : The evil one!
Doctor : Well, nobody's perfect, but that's overstating it a bit.
		      (Doctor Who: Face of Evil)
%
"The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common.
Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts
to fit their views...  which can be very uncomfortable if you happen
to be one of the facts that needs altering."
		    -- The Doctor  (Face of Evil)
%
     "What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?"
			    -- The Doctor
%
"Only in mathematics will we find truth."
		-- Fourth Doctor, quoting Cardinal Borusa
%
"So... providing we don't burn up on re-entry, and aren't suffocated
on the way down, we'll probably be smashed to a pulp when we land!"
       -- Sarah Jane Smith   (Doctor Who: The Android Invasion)
%
Doctor : You'll be all right.
Sarah : I've heard THAT before!
%
"Listen, I came here with you - remember?  You don't have to use the
15th Century double-talk with me!  I speaka da pretty good English!"
       -- Sarah Jane Smith   (Doctor Who: Masque of Mandragora?)
%
"Listen.  I don't want to make any snap decisions -
   but this isn't South Croydon!"
		  -- Sarah Jane Smith   (Doctor Who)
%
"OUR plan?  It's YOUR plan!"	-- Sarah Jane Smith
%
Doctor: I feel disoriented.
Sarah: This is the disorientation centre.
Doctor: That makes sense.
%
Doctor: It's probably afraid.
Sarah: IT'S afraid?  I'M afraid!
%
Sarah: Are we dead?
Doctor: No.
Sarah: Are you sure?
Doctor: Yes.
%
"Hello Sarah!  You thought I was dead, didn't you?
  You're always making that mistake!"
			-- The Doctor
%
"Oh, that's great!  And we've been walking around in the middle of it -
 like a couple of nanas!"
			-- Sarah Jane Smith		(Doctor Who)
%
"You know, I might as well be talking to the MOON -
	you don't even listen to me!"
		-- Sarah Jane Smith	(Doctor Who: The Hand of Fear)
%
"Have you noticed the way people's intelligence capabilities
decline sharply the minute they start waving guns around?"
			    -- The Doctor
%
"Just once,  I wish we would encounter an alien menace that
wasn't immune to bullets."
	  -- Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart  (Doctor Who: Robot)
%
"No 'Eureka' is Greek for 'This bath is too hot.'"
		-- The Doctor
%
"There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes."
			-- The Doctor (Doctor Who: Robot)
%
Poole: Well my friend, robots cannot kill.  Their prime directive -
Doctor: I know, I know, I know.  It's the first program that's laid into
	any robot's brain from the simplest Dumb to the most complex SuperVoc.
	But suppose, suppose someone's found a way of bypassing it.
			(Doctor Who: The Robots of Death)
%
"Failure is one of the basic freedoms."
	-- The Doctor	(Doctor Who: The Robots of Death)
%
"Found her floating down the Amazon in a Hat Box."
	-- The Doctor, of Leela	(Talons of Weng Chiang)
%
"Well, that was a piece of cake, eh, K-9?"

"Piece of cake, Master?  Radial slice of baked confection ...
 coefficient of relevance to Key of Time: zero."
			(Doctor Who)
%
"Gosh that takes me back... or is it forward?  That's the trouble with
time travel - you never can tell."
		  -- The Doctor  (Androids of Tara)
%
"Emotional Insulation is usually indicative of Psycho-Fugal Trauma."
	-- Romanadevoratrelundar	(Doctor Who: Power of Kroll)
%
Doctor: High degree of seismic activity...
Romana: What?
Doctor: Lots of Earthquakes.
Romana: Oh, Seismic! I thought you said Psychic!
Doctor: Psychic?
Romana: Like it? I haven't seen it yet!
					(Doctor Who: Destiny of the Daleks)
%
"There is something amiss with the map."
	-- native Castrovalvan		(Doctor Who: Castrovalva)
%
"Now listen to me, you young idiot. You're not so much gullible
 as idealistic.  I suppose it comes from your deprived, delinquent
 background."
	-- The Doctor to Adric	(Doctor Who: Four to Doomsday)
%
"Short term memory's the first to go."
	-- Bor		(Doctor Who : Terminus)
%
"The ape-primitives have more cunning than we thought."
			(Doctor Who : Warriors of the Deep)
%
Tegan: You're alive!
Turlough: Alive, well, and trying to escape.
			(Doctor Who : Warriors of the Deep)
%
"What is it about Earth-people that makes them think
	a futile gesture is a noble one?"
		-- Turlough		(Doctor Who : Warriors of the Deep)
%
Escapee: They would have stood a better chance with us.
Turlough: A better chance - of dying?
	I think they'll manage that very well themselves.
					(Doctor Who : Warriors of the Deep)
%
Tegan: Are you sure?
Doctor: No, Tegan, perhaps you should ask it nicely to go away.
					(Doctor Who: Warriors of the Deep)
%
"By your own admission, these people are primitives -
	what's YOUR excuse?"
	-- The Doctor to a Tereleptil	(Doctor Who: Warriors of the Deep)
%
Susan: What are we going to do now?
Turlough: Die.				(Doctor Who: The Five Doctors)
%
"I'm definitely not the man I was - thank goodness."
	-- The Doctor			(Doctor Who: The Five Doctors)
%
"Please, come and see the Tardis.
As an invasion weapon it's about as offensive as a Chicken Vol-au-vent."
		-- The Doctor, Frontios
%
"Oh marvelous - you're going to kill me.
 What a finely tuned response to the situation."
		-- The Doctor, Frontios
%
Plantagenet: Kill him.
     Doctor: That wasn't exactly what I had in mind.
					(Doctor Who: Frontios)
%
"A risk shared is a risk doubled."
		-- The Doctor, Frontios
%
"Sometimes it's easier to look for the way in and then work backwards."
		-- The Doctor, Frontios
%
Tegan: This is ridiculous -
	running around like rabbits in a hole if you ask me!
Doctor: No one is, Tegan, so shush.
					(Doctor Who: Frontios)
%
"Slight communications problem here, Gravis -
 my assistant hasn't been programmed in the ways of the world."
		-- The Doctor, Frontios
%
"I got it cheap because the walk's not quite right -
and then there's the accent of course."
		-- The Doctor, of Tegan, to Gravis	(Doctor Who: Frontios)
%
"We can't go dragging around the universe
	with a dormant Gravis on the console."
	-- Tegan	(Doctor Who: Frontios)
%
Rebel: You're pathetic.
Stien: That too.		(Doctor Who: Resurrection of the Daleks)
%
Ship's doctor: More killing?
Officer: Your BILE would be better directed to the ENEMY, doctor.
				(Doctor Who: Resurrection of the Daleks)
%
Ship's doctor (working on self-destruct mechanism):
	Nearly there!
	Why am I so excited? It'll probably be the last thing I ever do.
				(Doctor Who: Resurrection of the Daleks)
%
Soldier: What does it look like?
Doctor: Oh, you won't mistake it -
	the moment you find it, it will try to kill you.
				(Doctor Who: Resurrection of the Daleks)
%
Stien: Help?  You don't know how much of a coward I am.
Doctor: Well, now's the opportunity to show me.
				(Doctor Who: Resurrection of the Daleks)
%
"They kill anybody - even if they need them."
	-- Litton, of the Daleks	(Doctor Who: Resurrection of the Daleks)
%
Doctor: What will you do with my duplicate?
Stien: That does not concern you.
Doctor: I think it DOES - I'm rather fond of myself.
				(Doctor Who: Resurrection of the Daleks)
%
"I wouldn't know what to do with an army."
	-- The Doctor, to Davros	(Doctor Who: Resurrection of the Daleks)
%
Tegan: What's happening upstairs?
Doctor (looking at cylinder of anti-Dalek virus):
	Lunch has arrived - for our friend here.
				(Doctor Who: Resurrection of the Daleks)
%
Soldier (looking at dieing Daleks): What's happening?
Litton (shooting him): They're going - and so are you.
				(Doctor Who: Resurrection of the Daleks)
%
Master: I am the Master - you will obey me!
Peri: Well, I'm Perpegilium Brown, and I can shout just as loud as you!
				(Doctor Who: Planet of Fire)
%
Peri (on entering the Master's Tardis): It's just like the Doctor's.
Master: And infinitely superior -
	as I am to that Galactic Philanthropist.
				(Doctor Who: Planet of Fire)
%
Master: Help me!  I'll spare your life!
Peri: Spare my life?  You come out here and say that!
				(Doctor Who: Planet of Fire)
%
"Look after him, won't you?  He gets into the most terrible trouble."
		-- Turlough's farewell words to Peri and the Doctor
				(Doctor Who: Planet of Fire)
%
"You're such a pain, Doctor."
		-- Peri Brown, The Caves of Androzani
%
"So you got a merit badge in tracking when you were a Boy Scout..."
		-- Peri, to the Doctor	(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
"Mud baths for everyone - well, it's a change from lava."
		-- Peri Brown	(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
"You're a very confusing person to be with, Doctor."
		-- Peri Brown	(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
"'Is this wise?' I ask myself.  Oh well..."
		-- Peri Brown, The Caves of Androzani
%
"I tried to keep a diary once - not chronological, of course -
 but the trouble with time travel is you never seem to find the time..."
		-- The Doctor, The Caves of Androzani
%
Peri: Doctor, why do you have a stick of celery in your lapel?
Doctor: Does it offend you?
Peri: No, just curious.
Doctor: I'm allergic to certain gasses in the Praxis spectrum.
	If the gasses are present, the celery turns purple.
Peri: Then what do you do?
Doctor: I eat the celery.
	If nothing else, it's probably good for my teeth.
				(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
Peri: Now what do we do?
Doctor: Surrender.		(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
"I can take an insult, I just don't want to be shot."
		-- Peri Brown, The Caves of Androzani
%
Peri: I thought you knew everything.
Doctor: Not quite.		(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
"You have the mouth of a prattling jackanapes -
 but your eyes, your eyes tell a different story."
	-- Sharaz Jek, to the Doctor	(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
"As they say on Earth, every cloud has a strontium lining."
		-- Tra Morgus	(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
Sharaz Jek: Where are you from - Earth?
Peri: Yes.
Doctor: No.
Peri: Not exactly.
Doctor: We travel a lot.
				(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
"Your sense of humour will be the death of you, Doctor -
			probably very soon."
	-- Sharaz Jek, to the Doctor	(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
"No one who's ever run into one lived to tell what it looked like -
 all they ever find are its table leavings."
		-- Major Salateen	(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
Sharaz Jek: I hadn't expected to see you so soon.
Doctor: Life is full of these little surprises.
				(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
Sharaz Jek: How is it you were able to walk past my androids?
Doctor: I don't know.  Maybe they liked my face.
				(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
"If you weren't dying, I'd have you shot."
	-- General Cherak, to Peri	(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
"I AM telling the truth.  I KEEP telling the truth -
	Why is it no-one believes me?"
		-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
Secretary: The world will be forever in your debt.
Tra Morgus: Quite so.
				(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
Sharaz Jek: Do you think I'm mad?
Peri: N..no.
Sharaz Jek: I'm mad.
	    Do I frighten you?
Peri (frightened): N..no.
				(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
"These petty little criminals are invariably paranoid..."
		-- Sharaz Jek	(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
Stoltz: Open the door!
Doctor: Sorry!  Seems to be locked!
				(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
"We'll be touching down in a few minutes, or more likely crashing down -
 you see, I haven't much practice at this, so if i were you,
 I'd find something to hold on to."
	-- The Doctor, to Stoltz	(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
Stoltz: Release the controls or you die.
Doctor: Not a very convincing argument, because I'm going to die soon anyway.
				(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
Peri: Hello, Doctor.
Doctor: That's more like it.
Peri: Goodbye, Doctor.
Doctor: You mustn't give up, Peri!
				(Doctor Who: The Caves of Androzani)
%
Peri: Doctor?
Doctor: You're expecting someone else?
Peri: I - I - I -
Doctor: Three I's in one breath - sound like a very egotistical young lady.
Peri: What's happened?
Doctor: Change, my dear - and it seems not a moment too soon.
				(last lines from "The Caves of Androzani")
%
Mel: Are we just running scared,
	or are we heading for somewhere in particular?
Ikona: The answer to both questions is yes!  Now, can we go?
					(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"He's not exactly predictable..."
		-- Mel, of the Doctor	(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
A Little Misunderstanding Between Friends...

Mel: Who are you?
Doctor (accusingly): You!  Where's Mel?
Mel: Where's the Doctor?
Doctor: What have you done with her?
Mel: Stay away from me!  What have you done with the Doctor?
	(she twists his arm)
	Now we'll get the truth!
	What have you done with him, you brute?!
Doctor: He's here!
Mel: Where - under the carpet?
Doctor: Me, you wretched woman, me!
Mel: Never!  You're nothing like him!
					(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
Mel: You're a raving lunatic!
Doctor: Yes, perhaps I am --
	'cause if you're the Rani, I'm dicing with destruction.
Mel: But if I'm Mel?
Doctor: Mel - the worst she'll do is give me carrot juice.
					(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"Did you hear a voice - or am I hallucinating?"
		-- The Doctor	(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"Fit as a trombone"
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"A bad workman always blames his fools."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"It's a lottery, and I've drawn the short plank."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"A little portentious, perhaps, Mel?"
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"Absence makes the nose grow longer."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"More Hasta, less Vista"
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"A kangaroo never forgets."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"The proof of the pumpkin's in the squeezing."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"Fair exchange is no mockery."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"Where there's a will, there's a Tom, Dick, and a Harriet."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"A bat may look at a Time Lord."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"All good things come to a blend."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"Here's a turn-up for the kook! "
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"There's none so deaf as those who clutch at straws."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"A bird in the hand keeps the Doctor away."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"Out of the frying pan, into the mire."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"A fool and his theory are soon parted."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"Blessed are the piemakers, for they shall make our pastry."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"Every dogma has its day."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"Two wrongs don't make a left turn!  Right!"
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"He who dares, spins."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"As you snore, so shall you sleep."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"Waste net, want net."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"Where there's a will, there's a beneficiary."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"A miss is as good as a smile."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"Memory like a dromedary."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
"Time and tide melts the snowman."
	-- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Time and the Rani)
%
Mel: I thought they liked you.
Doctor: They liked my clothes - clearly not enough.
					(Doctor Who: Paradise Towers)
%
Caretaker: What shall we do with him now, then, Chief?
Chief Caretaker: Kill him.
					(Doctor Who: Paradise Towers)
%
"Ice-hot, Doctor!"
		-- the Blue Kangs	(Doctor Who: Paradise Towers)
%
"If there's anyone in the emergency control room,
 would you please answer the phone.  Thank you."
			-- harried announcer (Doctor Who: Dragonfire)
%
"If anyone sees any member of the Emergency Services,
 will you please ask them to pop along to the upper docking
 bay, when they've a moment to spare.  Thank you."
			-- harried announcer (Doctor Who: Dragonfire)
%
"They couldn't understand how blowing up the Art Room was a creative act."
			-- Ace			(Doctor Who: Dragonfire)
%
"Do you feel like arguing with a can of deodorant
 that registers nine on the Richter scale?"
			-- Ace			(Doctor Who: Dragonfire)
%
"Lay one finger on the dragon, bilge-bag,
 and I'll rivet your kneecaps together!"
			-- Ace, to Glitz		(Doctor Who: Dragonfire)
%
"It's just - I don't feel properly dressed
 without a couple of cans of Nitro..."
			-- Ace				(Doctor Who: Dragonfire)
%
"I'm sixteen!  I'm too young to be freeze-dried!"
			-- Ace				(Doctor Who: Dragonfire)
%
Doctor: (having asked Ace to join him):
	But there are three rules.  One - I'm in charge.
Ace: Whatever you say, Professor!
Doctor: Two - I'm not the Professor, I'm the Doctor.
Ace: Whatever you want.
Doctor: And the third - well, I'll think up the third
	by the time we get back to Perrivale.
						(Doctor Who: Dragonfire)
%
Doctor: You've got enough weapons here to fight a war.
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: That's the general idea.
					(Doctor Who: Battlefield)
%
Doctor: Be useless, Brigadier.
Brigadier: Not this time, Doctor.  Over here.  Open that box, will you.
	Armour-piercing, solid core, with a teflon coating.
	Go through a Dalek.
Doctor: A non-stick bullet.
					(Doctor Who: Battlefield)
%
Brigadier: UNIT's been very busy, Doctor.  We've also got high-explosive
	rounds for Yeti's, and very efficient armour-piercing rounds for
	robots.  And we've even got gold-tipped bullets for you-know-what.
Doctor: No silver?
Brigadier: Silver bullets?
Doctor: Well, you never know...
Brigadier: Quartermaster-sergeant!  Silver bullets - have we any?
					(Doctor Who: Battlefield)
%
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Everything under control?
Major: No, sir.
Brigadier: Don't worry, Major, you'll soon get the hang of it.
	Oh, this is the Doctor - well, don't let him baffle you...
					(Doctor Who: Battlefield)
%
Bambera: Ancelyn!  Ancelyn, can't you do anything quietly?  You're
	going to bring Morgaine's whole army down on us.
Ancelyn: Let them come.  Do you not know I am the best knight in the world?
					(Doctor Who: Battlefield)
%
Bambera: Ancelyn.
Ancelyn: Yes, my lady?
Bambera: In this world, we have a great and honourable tradition of
	tactical withdrawal.
Ancelyn: Ah.  You wish to run away.  Well, there can be but thirty of
	them at the most.
Bambera: If you don't start running, I'll kill you myself!  Now come on!
					(Doctor Who: Battlefield)
%
Ancelyn: Winifred?
Bambera: What?!
Ancelyn: Art thou betrothed?
Bambera (seeing soldiers): Not now, Ancelyn!
					(Doctor Who: Battlefield)
%
"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning and
the sea's asleep and the rivers dream; people made of smoke
and cities made of song.
	Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice,
somewhere else the tea's getting cold.  Come on Ace, we've
got work to do..."
	          -- The Doctor		(Doctor Who: Survival)
%
	"Are you sure," asked his companion, "that this is the
nineteen-eighties?"
	The Doctor looked around.  "Which nineteen-eighties did
you have in mind?"
	-- conversations that never happened
		(Doctor Who - the New Adventures: "Transit" by Ben Aaronovitch)
%
	"Sorry," said the Doctor without looking round, "It was an accident."
	"What do you mean, an accident?"
	"It's a reflex of mine," said the Doctor. "I see someone in danger
and I try to save them.  I can't help myself."
		(Doctor Who - the New Adventures: "Transit" by Ben Aaronovitch)
%
	"Why do you have two hearts?"
	"Because I'm the anomaly, the spanner in the works, the fly in the
ointment, the cheese grater in the goldfish bowl."
	-- Kadiatu & the Doctor
		(Doctor Who - the New Adventures: "Transit" by Ben Aaronovitch)
%
	"I know what you are," said Kadiatu.
	The Doctor smiled at her and tilted his chair back until it balanced
on two legs, "Do you," he said, "really?"
	"You're the butterfly wing."
		(Doctor Who - the New Adventures: "Transit" by Ben Aaronovitch)
%
And then there's me, thought the Doctor, dropping into human history
with all the subtlety of a road accident.  Someone was bound to notice
sooner or later.
		(Doctor Who - the New Adventures: "Transit" by Ben Aaronovitch)
%
	"I was tracking your movements through history.  I wasn't expecting
to run into you on Kings Cross station."
	"Something of a coincidence."
	"Isn't it just."
		-- Kadiatu and The Doctor
		(Doctor Who - the New Adventures: "Transit" by Ben Aaronovitch)
%
	"History happens.  Even when I'm not around."
	"Only by accident."
		-- The Doctor and Kadiatu
		(Doctor Who - the New Adventures: "Transit" by Ben Aaronovitch)
%
	"And I doubt they understood more than one word in ten.  Which
is just as well."
	"Why?"
	"Because what I actually said was `Make way!  For I am the official
keeper of the Emperor's penguins and I must hurry because his majesty's
laundry basket is on fire.'"
	-- The Doctor and Kadiatu
		(Doctor Who - the New Adventures: "Transit" by Ben Aaronovitch)
%
"Hey Doctor, why don't you just stick your head up so I can blow it off?"
	-- Benny
	(Doctor Who - the New Adventures: "Transit" by Ben Aaronovitch)
%
	"Don't shoot!"
	"Why not?"
	"Why?"
	"Because I've been taken over by a fucking alien intelligence,"
said Benny.  "What do you think?"
	-- The Doctor and Bernice Summerfield
		(Doctor Who - the New Adventures: "Transit" by Ben Aaronovitch)
%
	"You are stalling," said Benny, "but no one's coming to your rescue
this time."
	"Apart from the party of heavily armed troopers coming up the tunnel
behind you."  It didn't work. Benny's eyes didn't even flicker.
	"Games," said Benny, "can only take place within a regulated framework."
	"Your bootlaces are undone?" tried the Doctor hopefully.
		(Doctor Who - the New Adventures: "Transit" by Ben Aaronovitch)
%
	"Go on," she said. "Tell me I didn't have to do that.  I've broken
the rules. You didn't like that, did you?  No one's supposed to die without
your permission."
	"If that were true," said the Doctor, "you'd all be immortal."
		(Doctor Who - the New Adventures: "Transit" by Ben Aaronovitch)
%
I'm getting far too well known on this planet, thought the Doctor.
	(Doctor Who - the New Adventures: "Transit" by Ben Aaronovitch)
%
	"Do I look like a thunder god?"
	"How would I know?" said Kadiatu. "I've never met one."
	"Faced with the unexplained," said the Doctor, "people have a tendency
to let their imaginations run wild. There are no gods. I should know, I've
met a few."
	(Doctor Who - the New Adventures: "Transit" by Ben Aaronovitch)
%
	"What, just shoot them?" asked Kadiatu.
	"Yes," said the Doctor, "shoot them."
	"What happened to the sanctity of life?"
	"It just got filed under D for desperate expediency."
	"Just checking."
		(Doctor Who - the New Adventures: "Transit" by Ben Aaronovitch)
%
	"And who are you?"
	"The concept of personal pronoun is not applicable in these
circumstances."
	"Fine," said the Doctor. "In that case, I'll call you Fred."
		(Doctor Who - the New Adventures: "Transit" by Ben Aaronovitch)
%
"The problem," said the Doctor, "is that you are astonishingly bad at
utilizing this diversity.  Faced with an agrarian culture with a non-linear
temporal perception, do you send in a crack squad of Zen Buddhists?  No,
the aggressive imperialists go in instead.  The result is mutual
incomprehension and a lot of unnecessary aggravation."
	(Doctor Who - the New Adventures: "Transit" by Ben Aaronovitch)
%
	"Actually, I came to see you," he said. "I thought you might
need cheering up."
	"Why?  I'm not important."
	"Rubbish," said the Doctor. "You're just as important as anyone else."
	"I don't believe that."
	"What you believe," said the Doctor, "doesn't enter into it."
	-- The Doctor and Zamina
		(Doctor Who - the New Adventures: "Transit" by Ben Aaronovitch)
%
"The future of mankind?  Remember these words - Auschwitz, Stalingrad,
Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  Just words.  Gladys Aylward, Mother Theresa, Albert
Schwietzer.  Just names.  Somewhere between the words and the names lies
the future of mankind."
	-- The Doctor to William Blake
		(Doctor Who - the New Adventures: "The Pit" by Neil Penswick)
%
Maybe we're not going to get out of this, Ace thought.  Come on Doctor:
haven't you short-circuited the mad scientist's gizmo yet, or bamboozled
the megalomaniac survivor of an ancient race of warrior wizards, or
whatever it is this time?  Get your finger out, Doc.  I'm running out of
time, luck and ammunition.  Just one grenade left.
	(Doctor Who - the New Adventures: "Deceit" by Peter Darvill-Evans)
%
"You know, if you're going to spy on me, you really should turn the
speaker off."
	-- The Doctor to the Master
	(Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
"Your certain death is now... CERTAIN!"
	-- The Master (Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
The Doctor: You only turned the picture off. I can still hear you.
The Master: I know that!
	(Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
Emma: Planet of the Bottomburps! What happened to them?
The Doctor: They discovered fire.
	(Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
The Master: Say hello to the Spikes of Doom!
The Doctor: Say hello to the Sofa of Reasonable Comfort!
	(Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
"I recently calculated that I have saved each planet in the known
universe a minimum of 27 times. But you know, I have grown weary of all the
evil in the cosmos... all the cruelty, all the suffering... all those endless
gravel quarries..."
	-- The Doctor (Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
Dalek: So Doctor, we meet again!
The Doctor: Yes. How are things?
	(Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
The Master: My body has been augmented by superior Dalek technology! (He
	reveals a plunger where his hand should be)
Emma: So what can you do with that then? (No answer)
	You don't *know*, do you?
	(Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
"936 years in a sewer!"
	-- The Master (Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
Emma: Given that exterminating you would be the most sensible thing to do,
	why do they always change their minds at the last minute?
The Doctor: I'll explain later.
	(Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
The Master: Behold! Once again I have been augmented by superior Dalek
	technology, rejuvenating my physical form and granting me even
	more power over the cosmos.
The Doctor: And, I notice, breasts.
The Master: They're not breasts, okay?  They're Dalek bumps. They can
	detect ion-charged emissions and operate as synthetic beam
	locators at a distance of up to twenty thousand light
	years. They're also extremely firm.
	(Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
The Doctor: I can communicate with the Master by carefully-controlled
	breaking of wind.
Emma to a Dalek: Could I be tied to a different chair, please?
Dalek: Silence!
Emma: Why do you have chairs on a Dalek spaceship anyway?
Dalek: We will explain later!
	(Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
The Master, sniffing: You are facing certain doob. Certain doob?
Emma to the Doctor: Try not to clench.
	(Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
The Master, sniffing: The Daleks are planning to exterminate you as soon
	as you twiddly hippy jeep--
Emma: Sorry, that was me.
	(Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
"Sorry about that. I thought I'd just slip into something a bit more
comfortable. Result: cute, sexy, and lick-the-mirror handsome."
(He does.)
	-- The Quite Handsome Doctor
	(Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
The Quite Handsome Doctor: How could I forget the only time-travelling
	companion I've ever had?
Emma: You've had lots of companions.
The Quite Handsome Doctor: The only time-travelling companion I've *had*.
Emma: Oh, right.
The Quite Handsome Doctor: It's still me. These two hearts are still
	yours. Can you still love me in my new body?
Emma: Actually, I don't think I'll have too much trouble.
	(Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
The Shy Doctor: Oh dear, another girl!
The Master: I'm not a girl, Doctor, I've told you before! These are
	Dalek bumps. They can locate etheric beam emissions and...
	*everything.*
	(Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
"I've gone and used up three whole bodies in under a minute, and all
because I forgot to unplug first! That really was very silly of me."
	-- The Handsome Doctor
	(Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
"It has destroyed my ability to regenerate. I'm afraid this is the end.
Look after the universe for me... I've put a lot of work into it."
	-- The Handsome Doctor
	(Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
"Doctor! Listen to me! You can't die, you're too... you're too
	nice! Too brave, too kind, and far far too silly! You're like
	Father Christmas... the Wizard of Oz...  Scooby Doo..."
	-- Emma (Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
"It'll never be safe to be scared again."
	-- Emma (Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
"Maybe even the universe can't bear to be without the Doctor."
	-- Emma (Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
The Female Doctor: Emma, look! I've got etheric beam locators!
Emma: No, Doctor, I'm afraid those are actual breasts.
The Female Doctor: Are you sure? I think I can see the 'on' switch!
	(Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
The Female Doctor, rubbing her body: I've always wanted to get my hands
	on one of these!
Emma: Unfortunately, I haven't.
	(Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
"I'm afraid, Doctor, and I'm not sure this sentence has ever been used
so completely accurately before, but you're just not the man I fell in
love with."
	-- Emma (Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
The Female Doctor: Tell me, why *do* they call you the Master?
The Master: I'll explain later.
	(Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death)
%
Rose: Who are you, then? Who's that lot down there? I said, who are
	they?
The Doctor: They're made of plastic, living plastic creatures. They're
	being controlled by a relay device on the roof. Which would be a
	great big problem if I didn't have this. So, I'm gonna go
	upstairs and run amuck. And I might well die in the process, but
	don't worry about me, no. Go on, go and have your lovely beans
	on toast! Don't tell anyone about this cuz if you do, you'll get
	them killed.
		(Doctor Who: Rose)
%
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor, by the way, what's your name?
Rose: Rose.
The Doctor: Nice to meet you, Rose, - run for your life!
	(Doctor Who: Rose)
%
The Doctor: What you doing 'ere?
Rose: I live here!
The Doctor: Well, what you go and do a thing like that for?
	(Doctor Who: Rose)
%
"You're not plastic, are you? (Knocks on Rose's head) Nope.  Bonehead.
Bye, then."
	-- The Doctor (Doctor Who: Rose)
%
"That won't last. He's gay, and she's an alien."
	-- The Doctor, looking at a tabloid (Doctor Who: Rose)
%
Jackie: [To The Doctor] She deserves compensation.
The Doctor: [Going with the flow sarcastically] Oh, we're talking millions.
Jackie: I'm in my dressing gown.
The Doctor: Yes, you are.
Jackie: There's a strange man in my bedroom.
The Doctor: Yes, there is.
Jackie: Well, anything could happen.
The Doctor: Ah.... no.
	(Doctor Who: Rose)
%
Rose: You can't just go swanin' off!
The Doctor: Yes, I can. Here I am. This is me, swanin' off. See you!
	(Doctor Who: Rose)
%
Rose: You've got to tell me what's going on.
The Doctor: No I don't.
	(Doctor Who: Rose)
%
Rose: Who are you?
The Doctor: Told you. The Doctor.
Rose: Yes, but Doctor what?
The Doctor: Just the Doctor.
Rose: The Doctor?
The Doctor, waving cheerily: Hello!
	(Doctor Who: Rose)
%
Rose: So what you're saying is, the whole world revolves around you?
Doctor: Sort of, yeah.
Rose: You're full of it.
Doctor: Sort of, yeah.
	(Doctor Who: Rose)
%
"D'you know like we were saying? About the Earth revolving? It's like
when you're a kid, the first time they tell you that the world's turning
and you just can't quite believe it because everything looks like it's
standing still.  I can feel it -- the turn of the Earth. The ground
beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour, the entire
planet is hurtling around the Sun at sixty-seven thousand miles an hour,
and I can feel it. We're falling through space, you and me. Clinging to
the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go...

That's who I am. Now forget me, Rose Tyler. Go home."
	-- The Doctor to Rose (Doctor Who: Rose)
%
Clive: The Doctor is a legend woven throughout history. When disaster comes, he's there, and he brings the storm in his wake. And he has one constant companion.
Rose: Who's that?
Clive: Death.
	(Doctor Who: Rose)
%
Rose: It's alien.
The Doctor: Yep.
Rose: Are you alien?
The Doctor: Yes. Is that all right?
Rose: Yeah.				(Doctor Who: Rose)
%
Rose: If you are an alien, then how come you sound like you're from the North?
The Doctor: Lots of planets have a North!
	(Doctor Who: Rose)
%
The Doctor: The assembled hordes of Genghis Khan couldn't get through that door, and believe me they've tried! Now shut up a minute!
	(Doctor Who: Rose)
%
Rose: What's a Police Public Call Box?
The Doctor: Its a telephone box from the 1950s. It's a disguise.
	(Doctor Who: Rose)
%
The Doctor: [answering the Nestene Consciousness] That's not true! I should know. I was there. I fought in the war! It wasn't my fault. I couldn't save your world! I couldn't save any of them!
	(Doctor Who: Rose)
%
"I've got no A-levels, no job, no future, but I'll tell you what I
have got. Junior School, under sevens gymnastics team. I've got the
bronze."
	-- Rose (Doctor Who: Rose)
%
The Doctor: By the way, did I also mention it also travels in time?
Rose: [to Mickey] Thanks.
Mickey: Thanks for what?
Rose: Exactly. [she kisses him, then turns and runs toward the TARDIS]
	(Doctor Who: Rose)
%
"You lot. You spend all your time thinking about dying, like
you're going to get killed by eggs, or beef, or global warming, or
asteroids. But you never take time to imagine the impossible. Like
maybe you survive."
	-- The Doctor to Rose (Doctor Who: The End of the World)
%
The Doctor: The great and the good are gathering to watch the planet burn.
Rose: What for?
The Doctor: Fun. [pause] Mind you, when I said "the great and the good," what I mean is the rich.
	(Doctor Who: The End of the World)
%
The Doctor, searching for a gift to give: I give you in return... air
	from my lungs.
Jabe: How... intimate.
The Doctor: There's more where that came from.
Jabe, flirtily: I bet there is.
	(Doctor Who: The End of the World)
%
"The last ostrich egg! Legend says it had a wingspan of fifty
feet and blew fire from its mouth. Or was that my third husband?"
	-- Cassandra (Doctor Who: The End of the World)
%
[A jukebox is wheeled out before Cassandra.]
Lady Cassandra O'Brien: And here, another rarity. According to the archives, this was called an iPod. It stores classical music from humanity's greatest composers. Play on! [Soft Cell's "Tainted Love" plays.]
	(Doctor Who: The End of the World)
%
The Doctor: Oh, she's not my wife.
Jabe: Partner?
The Doctor: No.
Jabe: Concubine?
The Doctor: Nope.
Jabe: Prostitute?
Rose: Whatever I am, it must be invisible - do you mind? Tell you what - you two go and pollenate - I'm gonna catch up with the family. [points at Cassandra]
Rose: Quick word with Michael Jackson.
The Doctor: Don't start a fight. [offers his arm to Jabe] I'm all yours. [she accepts his arm; both start to leave]
Rose: [to Doctor] And I want you home by midnight!
	(Doctor Who: The End of the World)
%
The Doctor: [opening Rose's phone] Tell you what. With a bit of jiggery pokery-
Rose: Is that a technical term, "jiggery pokery"?
The Doctor: Yeah, I came first in jiggery pokery, what about you?
Rose: Nah, I failed Hullabaloo.
	(Doctor Who: The End of the World)
%
(Rose phones her mother and all is normal.)
The Doctor: You think that's amazing - you want to see the bill?
	(Doctor Who: The End of the World)
%
Rose: How many operations have you had?
Lady Cassandra: 708. Next week its 709 - I'm having my blood bleached. Is that why wanted a word? You could be flatter - you've got a little bit of a... chin... poking out.
Rose: I'd rather die.
Lady Cassandra: Honestly it doesn't hurt!
Rose: No, I mean it. I would rather die. It's better to die than to live like you - a bitchy trampoline.
	(Doctor Who: The End of the World)
%
[The Doctor attempts to open a lock door that leads to a room that is burning]
The Doctor: Anyone in there?!
Rose: Let me out, let me out!
The Doctor: Oh, well it would be you!
	(Doctor Who: The End of the World)
%
[The Doctor leaves Rose locked in a room while he goes to save the station]
The Doctor: [to Rose] Stay there!
Rose: Where am I gonna go, Ipswich?!
	(Doctor Who: The End of the World)
%
Rose: Is that why we're here? - I mean, is that what you do? Jump in at the last minute and save the Earth?
The Doctor: I'm not saving it. Time's up.
Rose: But what about the people?
The Doctor: It's empty. they've all gone. No one left.
Rose: [silent; looks at the Earth] Just me then.
	(Doctor Who: The End of the World)
%
Rose: [talking to the potted cutting of Jabe's grandfather] Hello. My name's Rose... that's a sort of plant. We might be related. [pauses] I'm talking to a twig.
	(Doctor Who: The End of the World)
%
Lady Cassandra: At Arms! [attendants raise spray nozzles; both aim at the Doctor]
The Doctor: What are you gonna do - moisturize me?
Lady Cassandra: [menacingly] With acid.
	(Doctor Who: The End of the World)
%
The Doctor: [talking to metallic spider] Go on, Jimbo! Go home!
	(Doctor Who: The End of the World)
%
Lady Cassandra: [to the Doctor] I bet you were the school swot who never got kissed.
	(Doctor Who: The End of the World)
%
Rose: [watches pieces of the destroyed Earth pass the window] The end of the earth. Its gone... we were too busy saving ourselves, no one saw it go. All those years, all that history and no one was even looking. It's just...
The Doctor: [holds his hand out to her] Come with me...
	(Doctor Who: The End of the World)
%
"Everything has its time and everything dies."
	-- The Doctor (Doctor Who: The End of the World)
%
"You think it'll last forever. The people, and cars, and concrete.
 But it won't. Then one day it's all gone. Even the sky."
	-- The Doctor to Rose (Doctor Who: The End of the World)
%
The Doctor: You think it'll last forever, the people and cars and concrete. But it won't. One day it's all gone, even the sky. My planet's gone. It's dead. It burned like the Earth. It's rocks and dust before its time.
Rose: What happened?
The Doctor: There was a war, and we lost.
Rose: A war with who? [the Doctor doesn't answer] What about your people?
The Doctor: I'm a Time Lord. I'm the last of them. They're all gone. I'm the only survivor. I'm left travelling on my own because there's no-one else.
Rose: There's me.
	(Doctor Who: The End of the World)
%
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor, by the way.
Charles Dickens: A Doctor? You look more like a navy.
The Doctor: [exasperated] What's wrong with this jumper?
	(Doctor Who: The Unquiet Dead)
%
The Doctor: Oi! Follow that coach!
Coach Driver: You can't do that, sir!
The Doctor: Why not?
Dickens: Why not! I'll give you a very good reason why not: Because this is my coach!
The Doctor: [Exasperated] Well, get in then!
[The Coach rushes forward]
The Doctor: Come on, you're losing them!
Coach Driver: Is everything in order, Mr Dickens?
Dickens: No, it is not!
The Doctor: What did he say?
Dickens: Let me say this first: I'm not a man with a sense of humour, and I-
The Doctor: Dickens?
Dickens: Yes?
The Doctor: Charles Dickens?
Dickens: Yes.
The Doctor: The Charles Dickens?
Coach Driver: Should I remove the gentleman, sir?
The Doctor: Charles Dickens! You're brilliant, you are! Completely one-hundred percent brilliant! I've read them all! Great Expectations, Oliver Twist- What's the other one, the one with the ghosts?
Dickens: Christmas Carol?
The Doctor: No no no, the one with the trains.... The Signal-Man, that's it! Terrifying! Best short story ever written! You're a genius!
Coach Driver: Do you want me to get rid of him, sir?
Dickens: [Flattered] No, I think he can stay.
	(Doctor Who: The Unquiet Dead)
%
[Before having a séance]
Dickens: I can't be part of this.
The Doctor: Humbug?
Dickens: This is the sort of mummery I strive to unmask. Sèances? Nothing but lumerous tamborines and a squeeze box concealed between the knees. This girl knows nothing!
The Doctor: Now don't antagonise her. I love a happy medium!
Rose: I can't believe you just said that.
	(Doctor Who: The Unquiet Dead)
%
The Doctor: I saw the Fall of Troy! World War Five! I was pushing boxes at the Boston Tea Party! Now I'm gonna die in a dungeon.... [disgustedly] in Cardiff!
Rose: It's not just dying...
[the Gelth still press against the gait to reach them]
Rose: We're going to become one of them.
[cut to Charles Dickens moving through the house; extinguishing the lamps, allowing gas to fill the rooms; back to Rose and the Doctor]
Rose: We'll go down fighting, yeah?
The Doctor Yeah.
Rose: Together?
The Doctor Yeah. [they link hands]
The Doctor [looking at Rose] I'm so glad I met you.
Rose: Me too. [they smile at each other]
	(Doctor Who: The Unquiet Dead)
%
Dickens: What the Shakespeare is going on?
	(Doctor Who: The Unquiet Dead)
%
Dickens: But you have such knowledge of future times. I don't wish to impose on you, but I must ask you... My books, Doctor. Do they last?
The Doctor: Oh, yes.
Dickens: How long?
The Doctor: Forever.
	(Doctor Who: The Unquiet Dead)
%
Dickens: After all these revelations, there's still one mystery you haven't explained. Answer me this... Who are you?
The Doctor: Just a friend, passing through.
	(Doctor Who: The Unquiet Dead)
%
The Doctor: [after Rose has just been pulled from the clutches of two Gelth-possessed bodies] Hi!
Rose: Hi. Who's your friend?
The Doctor: Charles Dickens.
Rose: Okay.
	(Doctor Who: The Unquiet Dead)
%
Rose: ...and don't think I didn't feel your hands having a quick wander, you dirty old man!
	(Doctor Who: The Unquiet Dead)
%
[Rose arrives home and Jackie is shocked to see her]
Jackie: [Quietly] It's you...
Rose: Course it's me.
Jackie: Oh my god... It's you... Oh my god..
[She flings herself into Rose's arms, crying. Rose sees Missing posters on the table as The Doctor comes running in]
The Doctor: It's not twelve hours... it's twelve months. You've been gone a whole year. Sorry.
	(Doctor Who: Aliens of London)
%
Rose: I meant to phone. I really did, I just f- forgot.
Jackie: What, for a year? You forgot for a year?! And I am left sitting here! I just don't believe you! Why won't you tell me where you've been?!
The Doctor: Actually, it's my fault. I sort of, uh, employed Rose as my companion.
Policeman: When you say "companion", is this a sexual relationship?
Rose, the Doctor: [simultaneously] No!
Jackie: Then what is it? Because you, you waltz in 'ere all charm and smiles and the next thing I know she vanishes off the face of the earth! How old are you, then, Forty? Forty-five? What, did you find her on the internet? Did you go online and pretend you're a doctor?!
The Doctor: I am a doctor!
Jackie: Prove it! Stitch this, mate! [slaps him]
	(Doctor Who: Aliens of London)
%
Rose: She slapped you!
The Doctor: Nine hundred years of time and space, and I've never been slapped by someone's mother.
Rose: Your face...
The Doctor: It hurt!
Rose:You're so gay! [pause] When you say 900 years...
The Doctor: That's my age.
Rose: You're 900 years old?
The Doctor: Yep.
Rose: My mother was right, that is one hell of an age gap.
	(Doctor Who: Aliens of London)
%
Mickey: I bet you don't even remember my name!
The Doctor: Ricky.
Mickey: It's Mickey.
The Doctor: No, it's Ricky.
Mickey: I think I know my own name.
The Doctor: You think you know your own name? How stupid are you?
	(Doctor Who: Aliens of London)
%
Rose: So, in twelve months, have you been seeing anyone else?
Mickey: No.
Rose: Okay.
Mickey: Mainly because everyone thinks I murdered you.
Rose: Right.
Mickey: So now that you've come back, are you gonna stay?
	(Doctor Who: Aliens of London)
%
Rose: Promise you won't disappear?
The Doctor: I'll tell you what. TARDIS key. [hands her the key] It's about time you had one. See you later.
	(Doctor Who: Aliens of London)
%
Rose: I can't tell her, I can't even begin. She's never gonna forgive me. And I missed a year. Was it good?
The Doctor: Middling.
Rose: You're so useless.
	(Doctor Who: Aliens of London)
%
Mickey: [the Doctor flips through TV channels on the TARDIS view screen] How many channels you get?
The Doctor: All the basic packages.
Mickey: You get sports channel?
The Doctor: [rolling his eyes] Yes, I get the football.
	(Doctor Who: Aliens of London)
%
Rose: My mum's here.
The Doctor: Oh, that's just what I need. Don't you dare make this place domestic
Mickey: You ruined my life, Doctor. They thought she was dead. I was a murder suspect because of you.
The Doctor: You see what I mean? Domestic!
	(Doctor Who: Aliens of London)
%
Jackie: [after the TARDIS materializes] How'd you do that, then?
	(Doctor Who: Aliens of London)
%
[The Doctor speaking to the military police inside 10 Downing Street.]
The Doctor: I think you'll find the Prime Minister is an alien in disguise, and- [Glances at military police leader.] That¿s never gonna work, is it?
[The policeman shakes his head.]
Policeman: Nope.
The Doctor: Fair enough. [runs]
	(Doctor Who: World War Three)
%
Slitheen General Asquith: Under jurisdiction of the Emergency Protocols I authorise you to execute this man!
The Doctor: Oh, er, wait, er, yes, now the thing is, if I were you, if I was going to, er, execute somebody by backing them against a wall, between you and me, little word of advice,[The lift behind him dings and opens] don't stand them against the lift. [Backs into the lift.]
	(Doctor Who: World War Three)
%
Rose: My mother's cooking...
The Doctor: Ah good, put her on a slow heat and let her simmer.
Rose: I meant she's cooking tea.
	(Doctor Who: World War Three)
%
Slitheen: Who are you, if not human?
Harriet Jones: Who's not human?
Rose: He's not human.
Harriet Jones: He's not human?
The Doctor: Can I have a bit of hush?
Harriet Jones: Sorry.
The Doctor: [to Slitheen] So what's the plan?
Harriet Jones: [in soft voice, to Rose] But he's got a Northern accent!
Rose: [just as soft] Lots of planets have a North.
The Doctor: I said hush!
	(Doctor Who: World War Three)
%
The Doctor: [talking about firing a missile at 10 Downing street] That's the thing. If I don't dare, everyone dies.
Rose: Do it.
The Doctor: You don't even know what it is. You'd just let me?
Rose: Yeah.
Jackie: Please, Doctor, please, she's my daughter, she's just a kid.
The Doctor: Do you think I don't know that? 'Cause this is my life, Jackie - it's not fun, it's not smart, it's just standing up and making a decision because nobody else will.
Rose: Then what are you waiting for?
The Doctor: I could save the world but lose you.
	(Doctor Who: World War Three)
%
Harriet Jones: Voice mail dooms us all.
	(Doctor Who: World War Three)
%
Slitheen: Aaaaahhh, Excuse me? Your device will do what? Triplicate the flammability?
The Doctor: Is that what I said?
Slitheen: You're making it up!
The Doctor: Oh well, nice try. Harriet, [offers Harriet Jones the decanter] have a drink. I think you're gonna need it.
Harriet Jones: You pass it to the left first.
The Doctor: Sorry. [hands it to Rose]
	(Doctor Who: World War Three)
%
Van Statten: [to Adam] You, English, look after the girl. Go and.... canoodle, or spoon, or whatever it is you British do.
	(Doctor Who: Dalek)
%
The Doctor: Look, I'm sorry about this. Mr Van Statten might think he's clever, but never mind him. I've come to help, I'm the Doctor.
Metaltron: Doc...tor?
The Doctor: [sudden horror] .... Impossible.
Metaltron: The Doctor?!
[The lights come on revealing that the "metaltron" is a Dalek.]
Dalek: Exterminate! Exterminate!
The Doctor: Let me out!!
Dalek: EXTERMINAAAAATE!!
[Outside chamber]
Diana Goddard: Sir, it's gonna kill him!
Henry Van Statten: [Raises a hand to silence her concerns] It's talking!
[Inside chamber]
Dalek: YOU ARE AN ENEMY OF THE DALEKS! YOU MUST BE DESTROYED! [It aims its gun, preparing to kill the Doctor. But nothing happens.]
The Doctor: It's not working! [Laughs mercilessly] Fantastic! Ooooh, fantastic! Powerless! Look at you. The Great Space Dustbin! How does it feel?! [rushes at the Dalek]
Dalek: Keep back!
The Doctor: What for?! What're you gonna do to me?! [Beat] If you can't kill, then what are you good for, Dalek?! What's the point of you?! You're nothing! What the hell are you here for?
Dalek: I am waiting for orders.
The Doctor: What does that mean?
Dalek: I am a soldier. I was bred to receive orders.
The Doctor: [Grins] Well you're never gonna get any. Not ever.
Dalek: I demand orders!
The Doctor: They're never gonna come! Your race is dead! You all burned, all of you! Ten million ships on fire! The entire Dalek race wiped out in one second!
Dalek: You lie!
The Doctor: I watched it happen! I made it happen!
Dalek: You destroyed us?!
[Long, dark pause.]
The Doctor: .... I had no choice.
Dalek: And what of the Time Lords?
The Doctor: [Solemn] Dead. They burned with you. The end of the Last Great Time War. Everyone lost.
Dalek: And the coward survived.
	(Doctor Who: Dalek)
%
Dalek: You are an enemy of the Daleks! You must be destroyed! (gun fails)
Doctor: (relieved) It's not working! (laughs) Fantastic!  Oh fantastic!
	Look at you, the great space-dustbin - how does it feel?
Dalek: Keep back!
Doctor: What for?  What are you gonna do to me?
			(Doctor Who: Dalek)
%
"If you can't kill, then what are you good for, Dalek?
	What's the point of you?  You're nothing!"
	-- The Doctor (Doctor Who: Dalek)
%
Doctor: What the hell are you here for?
Dalek: I am waiting for orders.
Doctor: What does that mean?
Dalek: I am a soldier. I was bred to recieve orders.
Doctor: Well you're never gonna get any.  Not ever.
Dalek: I demand orders!		 (Doctor Who: Dalek)
%
Dalek: I demand orders!
Doctor: They're never gonna come! Your race is dead!  You all burned,
	all of you -- ten million ships on fire, the entire Dalek race,
	wiped out, in one second.
Dalek: You lie!
Doctor: I watched it happen.  I *made* it happen.
Dalek: You destroyed us?
Doctor: I had no choice.		 (Doctor Who: Dalek)
%
Dalek: And what of the Time Lords?
Doctor: (long pause) Dead. They burned with you. The end of the last
	great Time War. Everyone lost.
			(Doctor Who: Dalek)
%
Dalek: And the coward survived.
Doctor: (sarcastically) Oh. And I caught your little signal: "Help me."
	Poor little thing.
	But there's noone else coming 'cause there's noone else left.
			(Doctor Who: Dalek)
%
Dalek: I am alone in the universe.
Doctor: Yep.
Dalek: So are you.
			(Doctor Who: Dalek)
%
Dalek: We are the same.
Doctor: We're not the same! I'm not -- no, wait. Maybe we are.
	You're right, yeah, okay. 'Cause I know what to do.
	I know what should happen.  I know what you deserve.
	Exterminate. (electrifies dalek)
Dalek: Aaaaaaah! Have pity!
Doctor: Why should I? You never did!
			(Doctor Who: Dalek)
%
Dalek: [appears on a monitor] I shall speak only to the Doctor.
The Doctor: [sees the fire sprinklers in action, raining water upon the Dalek] You're gonna get rusty.
Dalek: I fed off the DNA of Rose Tyler. Extrapolating the biomesh of a time-traveller regenerated me.
The Doctor: What's your next trick?
Dalek: I have been searching for the Daleks.
The Doctor: Yeah, I saw. Downloading the internet. What did you find?
Dalek: I scanned your satellites and radio telescopes.
The Doctor: And?
Dalek: Nothing. [Beat] Where shall I get my orders now?!
The Doctor: You're just a soldier without commands.
Dalek: Then I shall follow the Primary Order: the Dalek instinct to destroy, to conquer!!!
The Doctor: But what for? What's the point?! Don't you see? It's all gone. Everything you were, everything you stood for.
Dalek: .... Then what should I do?
The Doctor: All right, then. If you want orders, follow this one. Kill yourself.
Dalek: The Daleks must survive!
The Doctor: The Daleks have failed! Now why don't you finish the job, and make the Daleks extinct?! Rid the universe of your filth! Why don't you just DIE?!
[Pause]
Dalek: You would make a good Dalek.
	(Doctor Who: Dalek)
%
Doctor: All right then. If you want orders, follow this one. Kill yourself.
Dalek: The Daleks must survive!
Doctor: The Daleks have failed! Why don't you finish the job, and
	make the Daleks extinct. Rid the universe of your filth.
	*Why don't you just die!*
Dalek: [beat] You would make a good Dalek.	 (Doctor Who: Dalek)
%
(Digging through a bin of alien weapons): "Broken. Broken. Hairdryer."
	-- The Doctor (Doctor Who: Dalek)
%
The Doctor: [aims his weapon] Get out of the way!
[Rose sees the Doctor, trying to aim at the Dalek. She doesn't budge.]
The Doctor: Rose, get out of the way now!
Rose: No. I won't let you do this.
The Doctor: That thing killed hundreds of people!
Rose: It's not the one pointing the gun at me.
The Doctor: I've got to do this! I've got to end it! The Daleks destroyed my home, my people! I've got nothing left!
Rose: But look at it.
[The Dalek's casing has opened, and the creature within is marvelling at the sunlight.]
The Doctor: [puzzled] .... What's it doing?
Rose: It's the sunlight. That's all it wants.
The Doctor: It can't--
Rose: It couldn't kill Van Statten, it couldn't kill me. It's changing. What about you Doctor? What the hell are you changing into?
The Doctor: [pained look] I couldn't.... I wasn't.... Oh Rose. [drops gun] They're all dead.
Dalek: [weak] Why.... do we.... survive?
The Doctor: I don't know.
	(Doctor Who: Dalek)
%
"What about you, Doctor? What the hell are you changing into?"
	-- Rose to the Doctor (Doctor Who: Dalek)
%
"Time travel is like visiting Paris. You can't just read the guide book,
you gotta throw yourself in. Eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get
charged double, and end up kissing complete strangers. Or is that just
me?"
	-- The Doctor (Doctor Who - The Long Game)
%
The Editor: It may interest you to know that this isn't actually the Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire. It's hardly human at all! It's a place where humans happen to live- [unseen creature protests]-sorry, are allowed to live, by kind permission of my client. [points upwards]
[The Doctor and Rose follow his finger and notice a huge alien creature with ferocious-looking jaws on the ceiling.]
Rose: .... What is it?
The Doctor: You mean that thing's in charge of Satellite Five?
The Editor: "That thing", as you put it, is in charge of the human race. For almost a hundred years, mankind has been guided and shaped. Its knowledge and ambition strictly controlled, through its broadcast news- edited by my superior, your master, and humanity's guiding light: The Mighty Jagrafess of the Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe. [giddy] I call him Max.
	(Doctor Who: The Long Game)
%
[thanks to Adam, he and Rose are about to die]
The Doctor: You and your boyfriends.
	(Doctor Who: The Long Game)
%
Rose: I'll let the Doctor describe it.
The Doctor: The Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire. Planet Earth is at its height, covered with megacities, five moons, population 96 billion, the centre of a galactic domain that stretches across a million planets and species. [Adam faints]
The Doctor: He's your boyfriend.
Rose: Not any more.
	(Doctor Who: The Long Game)
%
Rose:: Well, you're not a Jagrafess. You're human.
The Editor: Yes, but being human doesn't pay very well.
	(Doctor Who: The Long Game)
%
The Editor: [to the Doctor and Rose] This is fascinating. Satellite Five holds every piece of information within the fourth great and bountiful human empire. Birth certificates, shopping habits, bank statements. But you two... you don't exist. [laughs] Not a trace. No birth, no job, not the slightest kiss. How can you walk through the world and not leave a single footprint?
	(Doctor Who: The Long Game)
%
Adam Mitchell: Maybe I could just go and sit on the observation desk. Would that be alright? Soak it in. Y'know, pretend I'm a citizen of the year two hundred thousand.
Rose: D'you want me to come with you?
Adam Mitchell: No, no. You stick with the Doctor. [pause] You'd rather be with him. [pause]11 It's gonna take a better man than me to get between you two.
	(Doctor Who: The Long Game)
%
The Doctor: You'll never get your hands on it - I'll die first!
The Editor: Die all you want.
	(Doctor Who: The Long Game)
%
The Editor: Tell me who you are.
The Doctor: Since that information is keeping us alive, I'm hardly going to tell you, am I?
	(Doctor Who: The Long Game)
%
The Doctor: Look at me, I'm stupid!
	(Doctor Who: The Long Game)
%
The Editor: Now there's an interesting point. Is a slave a slave if he doesn't know he's enslaved?
The Doctor:: Yes.
The Editor: Aw. I was hoping for a philosophical debate, is that all I'm gonna get: "yes"?
The Doctor: Yes.
The Editor: You're no fun.
The Doctor: Let me out of these manacles and I'll show you how much fun I am.
The Editor: Ooh, he's tough isn't he?
	(Doctor Who: The Long Game)
%
Adam Mitchell: But I want to come with you!
The Doctor: I only take the best, I've got Rose.
	(Doctor Who: The Long Game)
%
Rose: That's what comes of showing off; your history's not as good as you think.
The Doctor: My history is perfect.
Rose: Well, obviously not.
	(Doctor Who: The Long Game)
%
The Doctor: Alright. I'll hug anyone.
	(Doctor Who: The Long Game)
%
The Editor: Time Lord!
The Doctor: What?
The Editor: Oh yes. The last of the Time Lords, with his travelling machine. Oh, with his little human girl from long ago.
	(Doctor Who: The Long Game)
%
[The Doctor, to the bride and groom]
The Doctor: Who said you're not important? I've travelled to all sorts of places, done things you couldn't even imagine. But you two! Street corner, two in the morning, getting a taxi home. I've never had a life like that. Yes. I'll try to save you.
	(Doctor Who: Father's Day)
%
The Doctor: [to the baby Rose in 1987] Good girl. Yes, you are. You're not gonna bring about the end of the world now are you?
	(Doctor Who: Father's Day)
%
The Doctor: I did it again. I picked another stupid ape.
	(Doctor Who: Father's Day)
%
Pete Tyler: Don't worry about him. Couples have rows all the time.
Rose: We're not a couple! Why does everyone think we're a couple? [sighs] I think he left me.
	(Doctor Who: Father's Day)
%
The Doctor: I should have known. It's not about showing you the universe. It never is. It's about the universe doing something for you.
	(Doctor Who: Father's Day)
%
Pete Tyler: [to Rose] So, if this Doctor's not you boyfriend, and I have to say, I'm glad, 'cause, you know, being your dad and all, I think he's a bit old for you.
[Rose bursts out laughing]
	(Doctor Who: Father's Day)
%
Pete Tyler: [Rose has travelled back in time and saved her father's life when he was supposed to have died when she was just a baby. By doing so she has inadvertently doomed the human race] Your friend... he said "This is all your fault." What did he mean by that?
Rose: Dunno. It's just... it just is.
Pete Tyler: [hesitantly] I gave you my car keys. You don't give your car keys to a complete stranger. [slowly begins walking towards her] I trusted you, the moment I met you. "A wound in time". You called me Dad. [gets closer] You've got my eyes, Jackie's attitude. You sound like her when you shout. [he reaches out and tentatively brushes the hair from her eyes but then gets shy and removes his hand. Rose immediately takes his hand and replaces it on her cheek] It is! It's you! You're my Rose! You're my Rose grown up! [he hugs her]
Rose: [starts to cry] Dad! My Dad! My Daddy!
	(Doctor Who: Father's Day)
%
[first lines]
Rose: [voiceover] Peter Alan Tyler, my Dad. The most wonderful man in the world. Born 15th September, 1954.
	(Doctor Who: Father's Day)
%
[last lines]
Rose: [voiceover] Peter Alan Tyler, my Dad. The most wonderful man in the world. Died the 7th of November, 1987.
	(Doctor Who: Father's Day)
%
The Doctor: Know how long you can knock around space without having to bump into Earth?
Rose: Five days, or is that just when we're out of milk?
The Doctor: All the species in all the universe and it has to come out of a cow.
	(Doctor Who: The Empty Child)
%
The Doctor: [To a stray kitten] One day, just one day, maybe, I'm going to meet somebody who gets the whole "don't wander off" thing. Nine hundred years of phone box travel and it's the only thing left that surprises me. [The TARDIS phone rings] You're ringing. How can you be ringing? You're not even a real phone!
	(Doctor Who: The Empty Child)
%
Capt. Jack Harkness: Could you switch off your cell phone? No, seriously, it interferes with my [spaceship] instruments.
Rose: [as she turns it off] You know, no one ever believes that.
	(Doctor Who: The Empty Child)
%
The Doctor: [to Nancy] 1941. Right now, not very far from here, the German war machine is rolling up the map of Europe. Country after country, falling like dominoes. Nothing can stop it, nothing. Until one tiny, damp little island says "No. No, not here." A mouse in front of a lion. You're amazing, the lot of you. I don't know what you do to Hitler, but you frighten the hell out of me.
	(Doctor Who: The Empty Child)
%
The Doctor: And I'm looking for a blonde in a Union Jack. A specific one, mind you, I didn't just wake up this morning with a craving.
	(Doctor Who: The Empty Child)
%
Rose: You used to be a Time Agent. Now... you're some kind of freelancer.
Captain Jack Harkness: Oh, that's a little harsh. I like to think of myself as a criminal.
	(Doctor Who: The Empty Child)
%
Captain Jack Harkness: So... when you say 'your companion', how disappointed should I be?
Rose: OK. We're standing in mid-air on a space-ship during a German air-raid. Do you really think now's a good time to be coming on to me?
Captain Jack Harkness: Perhaps not.
Rose: It was just a suggestion.
	(Doctor Who: The Empty Child)
%
The Doctor: You're very sick.
Doctor Constantine: Dying, I should think. I just haven't been able to find the time.
	(Doctor Who: The Empty Child)
%
The Doctor: [Nancy locks the door on the Child] What's this, then? It's never easy being the only child left out in the cold, you know.
Nancy: I suppose you'd know.
The Doctor: I do, actually, yes.
Nancy: It's not exactly a child.
	(Doctor Who: The Empty Child)
%
The Doctor: Excuse me, excuse me. Could I have everyone's attention, just for a mo? Be very quick. Hello! It might seem like a stupid question, but has anything fallen from the sky recently?
	(Doctor Who: The Empty Child)
%
Doctor Constantine: Before this war began, I was a father and a grandfather. Now I'm neither; but I'm still a doctor.
The Doctor: Yeah. Know the feeling.
	(Doctor Who: The Empty Child)
%
[Captain Jack has just greeted the Doctor as "Mr. Spock"]
The Doctor: Mister Spock?
Rose: What was I supposed to say? You don't have a name! Don't you ever get tired of "Doctor"? Doctor Who?
The Doctor: Nine centuries in, I'm coping.
	(Doctor Who: The Empty Child)
%
[on the Doctor and Rose's outfits]
Captain Jack Harkness: Oh, should've known, the way you guys are blending in with the local colour. I mean, Flag Girl was bad enough, but U-boat Captain?
	(Doctor Who: The Empty Child)
%
[first lines]
Rose: What's the emergency?
The Doctor: It's mauve.
Rose: Mauve?
The Doctor: Universally recognised colour for danger.
Rose: What happened to red?
The Doctor: That's just humans. By everyone else's standards, red's camp. Oh, the misunderstandings! All those red alerts, all that dancing.
	(Doctor Who: The Empty Child)
%
Captain Jack Harkness: On my signal, head for the door. NOW!
[points a banana at the child like a gun]
Child: Mummy!
The Doctor: [points actual gun at wall and creates door] Go now! And don't drop the banana!
Captain Jack Harkness: Why not?
The Doctor: It's a good source of potassium!
Captain Jack Harkness: [grabs the gun back] Gimme that!
	(Doctor Who: The Empty Child)
%
[The Doctor, Capt. Jack and Rose are cornered by the empty children.]
The Doctor: Go to your room. Go to your room! I mean it. I'm very, very angry with you. I'm very, very cross! Go to your room! [The children lurch away.] I'm really glad that worked. Those would have been terrible last words.
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
The Doctor: Sonic blaster, 51st Century- Weapon factories at Villengard?
Capt. Jack Harkness: Yeah. You've been to the factories?
The Doctor: Once.
Jack: They're gone now, destroyed. Main reactor went critical. Vaporised the lot.
The Doctor: Like I said, once. There's a banana grove there now. I like bananas. Bananas are good.
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
Jack: [incredulously] Who has a sonic screwdriver?
The Doctor: I do!
Rose: [to herself] Lights!
Jack: Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks, "Ooo, this could be a little more sonic"?
The Doctor: What, you've never been bored?
Rose: There's gotta' be a light switch!
Doctor: [to Jack] Never had a long night? Never had a lot of cabinets to put up?
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
Rose: Are the words "distract the guard" heading in my general direction?
Jack: I don't think that's such a good idea.
Rose: Don't worry, I can handle it.
Jack: I've gotten to know Algie quite well since I've been in town. Trust me, you're not his type. I'll distract him. Don't wait up.
[Jack moves off. Rose stares after him, pole-axed, whilst the Doctor grins smugly]
The Doctor: Don't worry, he's a 51st-century guy. He's just a little more flexible when it comes to 'dancing'.
Rose: How flexible?
The Doctor: Well, by his time, you lot are spread over half the galaxy.
Rose: Meaning?
The Doctor: So many species, so little time.
Rose: What, that's what we do when we get out there? That's our mission? We seek new life and-
The Doctor: Dance.
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
The Doctor: Everybody lives, Rose! Just this once! Everybody lives!!
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
Woman: [having been healed by the nanogenes] My leg's grown back! When I come to the hospital, I had one leg!
Dr Constantine: Well, there is a war on. Is it possible you miscounted?
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
The Doctor: History says there was an explosion here. Who am I to argue with history?
Rose: Usually the first in line.
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
Rose: Look at you, beaming away like you're Father Christmas.
The Doctor: Who says I'm not? Red bicycle when you were twelve.
Rose: What?
The Doctor: And everybody lives! I need more days like this.
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
Jack: [monologuing to his navigating system] Last time I was sentenced to death, I ordered four hyper-vodkas for my breakfast. All a bit of a blur after that. Woke up in bed with both my executioners. Lovely couple. They stayed in touch. Can't say that about most executioners.
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
Rose: OK, so he's disappeared into thin air. Why is it always the great looking ones who do that?
The Doctor: I'm making an effort not to be insulted.
Rose: I mean... men.
The Doctor: Okay. That's... that really helped.
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
Captain Jack: [when he realizes his Sonic Blaster's stopped working] Damn it! It's the special features, they really drain the battery.
Rose Tyler: The battery? [both run through the door the Doctor just opened; after she stops] It's so lame.
Captain Jack: I was going to send for another one but *somebody's* [looking at the Doctor] got to blow up the factory.
Rose: Oh, I know. First day I met him, he blew my job up. That's practically how he communicates.
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
The Doctor: I've travelled with a lot of people, but you're setting new records for jeopardy friendly.
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
The Doctor: Hanging from a rope, thousands of feet above London, not a cut, not a bruise.
Rose: Yeah, I know. Captain Jack fixed me up.
The Doctor: Oh, we're calling him Captain Jack now, are we?
Rose: Well, his name's Jack and he's a captain.
The Doctor: He's not really a captain, Rose.
Rose: Do you know what I think? I think you're experiencing 'Captain Envy'. You'll find your feet at the end of your legs. You may care to move them.
The Doctor: If ever he was a captain, he's been defrocked.
Rose: Yeah? Shame I missed that!
[the Doctor and Rose have been teleported to Jack's ship]
Captain Jack: Actually, I quit. Nobody takes my frock! Most people notice when they've been teleported. You guys are so sweet!
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
Captain Jack: Make yourself comfortable. Carry on with whatever it was you were... doing.
The Doctor: We were talking about dancing.
Captain Jack: It didn't look like talking.
Rose: It didn't feel like dancing.
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
Rose: Doesn't the universe implode or something if you dance?
The Doctor: Well, I've got the moves, but I wouldn't want to boast.
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
The Doctor: There isn't a little boy born who wouldn't tear the world apart to save his mummy. And this little boy can.
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
The Doctor: [identifying Jack's weapon] Sonic Blaster. Fifty-first century. Weapons factory at Villengard?
Captain Jack: You've been to the factories?
The Doctor: Once.
Captain Jack: Well, they're gone now, destroyed. Main reactor went critical, vaporized the lot.
The Doctor: Like I said. Once. [looking over at Rose; matter-of-factly] There's a banana grove there now. [looks at Jack; smiling] I like bananas. Bananas are good.
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
[when asked by Rose to dance]
The Doctor: Rose, I'm trying to resonate concrete...
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
Nancy: Yes, I am your mummy. I will always be your mummy.
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
The Doctor: Funny little human brains... How do you get around in those things?
Rose: When he's stressed, he likes to insult species.
The Doctor: Rose, I'm thinking.
Rose: Cuts himself shaving, does half an hour on life forms he's cleverer than.
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
The Doctor: [on Jack] So, where'd you pick this one up, then?
Rose: Doctor...
Captain Jack: She was hanging from a barrage balloon, I had an invisible spaceship. [smiling] I never stood a chance.
[Rose slowly smiles, obviously flattered]
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
The Doctor: Just this once, Rose, everybody lives!
	(Doctor Who: The Doctor Dances)
%
Mickey: [to Rose, in reference to Jack and the Doctor, respectively] So what are you doing in Cardiff, and who the hell's Jumpin' Jack Flash? I mean, I don't mind you hanging out with Big Ears up here-
The Doctor: Oi!
Mickey: [to the Doctor] Look in a mirror. [continues] But this guy, I dunno, he's kinda...
Captain Jack Harkness: [grins].... Handsome?
Mickey: More like cheesy.
Jack: Early 21st century slang, is "cheesy" good or bad?
Mickey: It's bad.
Jack: But bad means good, isn't that right?
	(Doctor Who: Boom Town)
%
Cathy Salt: [talking about mysterious deaths connected to the "Blaidd Drwg" project] And then just recently Mr. Cleaver, the government's nuclear advisor?
Margaret Blaine: Slipped on an icy patch.
Cathy Salt: He was decapitated!
Margaret Blaine: It was a very icy patch.
	(Doctor Who: Boom Town)
%
[the four have just exited the TARDIS]
Mickey: That old lady's staring.
Jack : [Suggestively to Doctor] Probably wondering what four people were doing in a small box.
Mickey: [Disdainful look at Jack] What are you captain of? The Innuendo Squad?
'Jack: [Holds up hands to form a "W"] Whatever!
	(Doctor Who: Boom Town)
%
[Discussing the plan]
Jack: [fast] Right, then. According to Intelligence, our target is the last surviving member of the Slitheen family -a criminal sect from the planet Raxacoricofallapatorius- masquerading as a human being, zipped inside a skin-suit. Okay, plan of attack: we assume a basic 57/56 strategy, covering all available exits on the ground floor. Doctor, you go face to face, that'll designate exit one; I'll cover exit two; Rose, you exit three; Mickey Smith, you take exit four. Have you got that?
The Doctor: Excuse me, who's in charge?
Jack: Sorry. Awaiting orders, sir.
The Doctor: Right, here's the plan. [beat] Like he said, nice plan. Anything else?
	(Doctor Who: Boom Town)
%
The Doctor: Hello, I've come to see the Lord Mayor.
Secretary: Have you got an appointment?
The Doctor: No, just an old friend passing by, bit of a surprise. Can't wait to see her face!
Secretary: Well, she's just having a cup of tea.
The Doctor: Just go in there and tell her "the Doctor" would like to see her.
Secretary: "The Doctor" who?
The Doctor: Just "the Doctor", tell her exactly that, "the Doctor".
Secretary: Hang on a tic.
[The secretary goes inside. There is the sound of a cup dropping and the secretary returns.]
Secretary: The Lord Mayor says "thank you f-for popping by." She'd love to have a chat, but, um, she's up to her eyes in paperwork. Perhaps you would like to make an appointment for next week...
The Doctor: [happily] She's climbing out the window, isn't she?
Secretary: Yes, she is.
	(Doctor Who: Boom Town)
%
Jack: She's got a teleport! That's cheating! Now we'll never get her!
Rose: Oh, the Doctor's very good at teleports.
[Doctor uses sonic-screwdriver to bring Margaret back three times, each time closer than she was before.]
The Doctor: I could do this all day.
Margaret Slitheen: [out of breath] This is persecution. Why can't you leave me alone? What did I ever do to you?
The Doctor: You tried to kill me and destroy this entire planet.
Margaret Slitheen: Apart from that.
	(Doctor Who: Boom Town)
%
Margaret Slitheen: We're in Cardiff. London doesn't care, the southwest coast could fall into the sea and they wouldn't notice.... Oh. I sound like a Welshman. God help me, I've gone native.
	(Doctor Who: Boom Town)
%
Captain Jack: Who the hell are you?
Mickey Smith: What do you mean who the hell am I? Who the hell are you?
	(Doctor Who: Boom Town)
%
Captain Jack: Aww, sweet, look at these two. How come I never get any of that?
The Doctor: Buy me a drink first.
Captain Jack: You're such hard work.
The Doctor: But worth it. [He grins in an extremely self-satisfied way]
	(Doctor Who: Boom Town)
%
Rose Tyler: We've got a prisoner. The police box is really a police box.
Margaret Slitheen: You're not just police, though. Since you're taking me to my death, that makes *you* my executioners. Each and every one of you.
Mickey Smith: Well *you* deserve it.
Margaret Slitheen: [looks straight at him] You're very quick to say so. And you're very quick to soak your hands in my blood. Which makes you better than me how, exactly? [he says nothing] Long night ahead. [walks away & sits down; finally] Let's see who can look me in the eye. [looks piercingly at each person; none hold eye contact for more than a few seconds; & the Doctor barely even looks up from his work]
	(Doctor Who: Boom Town)
%
[The Ninth Doctor finds himself in a replica of the Big Brother house. Dazed, he stumbles into the diary room]
Davinadroid: You are live on channel forty-four thousand. Please do not swear.
The Doctor: You have got to be kidding.
	(Doctor Who: Bad Wolf)
%
The Doctor: Lynda, you're sweet. From what I've seen of your world, do you think anybody votes for sweet?
	(Doctor Who: Bad Wolf)
%
Trin-E: Just stand still and let the Defabricator work its magic.
Jack: What's a Defabricator?
[Jack's clothes are disintegrated.]
Jack: Okay, Defabricator. Does exactly what it says on the tin. Am I naked in front of millions of viewers?
Zu-Zana: Absolutely.
Jack: Ladies, your viewing figures just went up.
	(Doctor Who: Bad Wolf)
%
Jack: Now hold on, ladies, I don't want to have to shoot either one of you.
Trin-E: But you're unarmed!
Zu-Zana: And you're naked!
[Jack reaches behind him briefly, and returns holding a very small gun.]
Zu-Zana: But that's a compact laser deluxe.
Trin-E: Where were you hiding that!?
Jack: You really don't wanna know.
	(Doctor Who: Bad Wolf)
%
[The Doctor and the others stare in horror at a mysterious fleet of ships]
Jack: That's impossible.... I know those ships. They were destroyed.
The Doctor: Obviously they survived.
Lynda: Who did? Who are they?
The Doctor: Two hundred ships. More than two thousand on board each one. That's about half a million of them.
Davitch Pavelle: Half a million what?
The Doctor: Daleks.
	(Doctor Who: Bad Wolf)
%
Dalek 1: [glances at Rose] We have your associate. You will obey or she will be exterminated!
The Doctor: No.
[Pause. The Daleks glance at each other in confusion.]
Dalek 1: Explain yourself!
The Doctor: I said no.
Dalek 1: What is the meaning of this negative?
The Doctor: It means no.
Dalek 1: But she will be destroyed!
The Doctor: No! 'Cause this is what I'm going to do: I'm going to rescue her! I'm going to save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet! And then I'm going to save the Earth! And then, just to finish off, I'm going to wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!
Dalek 1: But you have no weapons! No defenses! No plan!
The Doctor: Yeah! And doesn't that scare you to death? Rose?
Rose: Yes, Doctor?
The Doctor: I'm coming to get you.
	(Doctor Who: Bad Wolf)
%
The Doctor: [To the Daleks] You know what they call me in the ancient legends of the Dalek homeworld? The Oncoming Storm. You might have removed all your emotions, but I reckon right down deep in your DNA there's one little spark left. And that's fear. Doesn't it just burn when you face me?
	(Doctor Who: The Parting of the Ways)
%
The Doctor: [disturbed] Since when did the Daleks have a concept of blasphemy?
Emperor Dalek: I reached into the dirt and made new life. I AM THE GOD OF ALL DALEKS!
Daleks: Worship him! Worship him! Worship him!
The Doctor: [Horrified] They're insane! Hiding in silence for hundreds of years, that's enough to drive anyone mad- but it's worse than that. Driven mad by your own flesh. The stink of humanity. Oh, you hate your own existence.
	(Doctor Who: The Parting of the Ways)
%
The Doctor: [as a hologram] This is Emergency Programme One. Rose, now listen; this is important. If this message is activated, then it can only mean one thing. We must be in danger, and I mean fatal. I'm dead, or about to die any second with no chance of escape.
Rose: No.
The Doctor: And that's okay. Hope it's a good death. But I promised to look after you, and that's what I'm doing. The TARDIS is taking you home.
Rose: I won't let you. [Rose protests]
The Doctor: And I bet you're fussing and moaning now- typical! But hold on and just listen a bit more. The TARDIS can never return for me. Emergency Programme One means I'm facing an enemy that should never get their hands on this machine. So this is what you should do: let the TARDIS die. Just let this old box gather dust. No one can open it; no one will even notice it. Let it become a strange little thing standing on a street corner. And over the years, the world will move on and the box will be buried. And if you wanna remember me, then you can do one thing, that's all, one thing. [turns to Rose, his voice no longer sounding projected] Have a good life. Do that for me, Rose. Have a fantastic life.
	(Doctor Who: The Parting of the Ways)
%
Jackie: Well like you said 200,000 years i'ts way off.
Rose: But its not it¿s now that fight is happening right now and he¿s fighting for us the whole planet and I'm just sitting here eating chips.
Jackie: Listen to me. God knows I have hated that man but right now I love him and do you know why? Because he did the right thing. He sent you back to me.
Rose: But what do I do every day mum? What do I do? Get up, catch the bus, go to work, come back home, eat chips and go to bed. Is that it?
Mickey: It¿s what the rest of us do.
Rose: But I can¿t.
Mickey: Why because you¿re better than us?
Rose: No I didn¿t mean that I... but I know what it was. It was a better life. I don¿t mean all the travelling and seeing aliens and spaceships and things that don¿t matter. The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life. You know; he showed you too. That you don¿t just give up, you don¿t just let things happen; you make a stand, you say no, you¿ve got the guts to do what¿s right when everyone else just runs away and I... [Runs Out]
	(Doctor Who: The Parting of the Ways)
%
Mickey: Rose, if you go back you could die.
Rose: That¿s a risk I¿ve got to take 'cause there's nothing left for me here.
Mickey: Nothing?
Rose: No.
Mickey: Ok, if that¿s what you think let,s get this thing open.
	(Doctor Who: The Parting of the Ways)
%
Mickey: There's got to be something else we can do.
Rose: Mum was right: maybe we should just lock the door and walk away.
Mickey: I'm not having that. I'm not having you just give up now - no way. You just need something stronger than my car... something bigger... something like that.
Jackie: Right, you¿ve only got this until 6:00 so get on with it.
Rose: Mum, where the bloody hell did you get that from?
Jackie: Rodrigo he owes me a favour - never mind why - but you were right about your dad, sweetheart, he was full of mad ideas and it's exactly what he would have done. Now get on with it before I change my mind.
	(Doctor Who: The Parting of the Ways)
%
The Doctor: You really want to think about this. 'Cause if I activate this signal, every living creature dies.
Emperor Dalek: I am immortal.
The Doctor: Do you want to put that to the test?
Emperor Dalek: [sardonically] I want to see you become like me. Hail the Doctor, the Great Exterminator!
	(Doctor Who: The Parting of the Ways)
%
Emperor Dalek: What are you, Doctor, coward or killer?
The Doctor: [Tries to push the lever] Coward any day.
	(Doctor Who: The Parting of the Ways)
%
Rose: I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words; I scatter them in time and space- [the words "BAD WOLF" detach from the Corporation's sign on the opposite wall and fly off] -a message to lead myself here.
The Doctor: Rose, you've got to stop this! You've got to stop this now! [pause] You've got the entire Vortex running through your head! You're gonna burn!
Rose: I want you safe. My Doctor, protected from the false god.
Emperor Dalek: You cannot hurt me, I am immortal.
Rose: You are tiny. I can see the whole of time and space, every single atom of your existence, and I divide them. [She lifts her hand again, the Dalek that tried to shoot her disappears in an explosion of golden dust] Everything must come to dust. All things, everything dies.
	(Doctor Who: The Parting of the Ways)
%
Rose: I can see everything. All that is. All that was. All that ever could be.
The Doctor: [gets up suddenly] That's what I see, all the time. And doesn't it drive you mad?
Rose: My head-
The Doctor: Come here.
Rose: -is killing me.
The Doctor: I think you need a doctor.
[The Doctor kisses Rose, absorbing the Time Vortex. She passes out and he sets her gently on the ground before returning the Vortex to the TARDIS.]
	(Doctor Who: The Parting of the Ways)
%
The Doctor: Rose Tyler. I was gonna take you to so many places. Barcelona! Not the city Barcelona, the planet Barcelona. You'd love it, fantastic place! They've got dogs with no noses! [Laughs] Imagine how many times a day you end up telling that joke and it's still funny!
Rose: Then.... why can't we go?
The Doctor: Maybe you will, and maybe I will. But not like this.
Rose: You're not making sense!
The Doctor: I might never make sense again! I might have two heads, or no head. Imagine me with no head! And don't say that's an improvement. But it's a bit dodgy, this process. You never know what you're gonna end up with.
[The Doctor is suddenly wracked by intense pain.]
Rose: Doctor!
The Doctor: Stay away!
Rose: Doctor, tell me what's going on-
The Doctor: I absorbed all the energy of the time vortex, and no one's meant to do that- every cell in my body's dying.
Rose: Isn't there something you can do?
The Doctor: Yeah, I'm doing it now. See, Time Lords have this little trick, it's sort of a way of cheating death. Except.... it means I'm gonna change. And you're not gonna see me again. Not like this. Not with this daft old face. And before I go-
Rose: Don't say that-!
The Doctor: Rose, before I go, I just wanna tell you: you were fantastic, absolutely fantastic. And you know what? [Pause] So was I! [regenerates]
Tenth Doctor: Hello! [gulp and sick expression] New teeth. That's weird. So where was I? Oh that's right! Barcelona! [grins]
	(Doctor Who: The Parting of the Ways)
%
The Doctor: Back to your mum. It's all waiting. Fish and chips, sausage and mash, beans on toast... No! Christmas! Turkey! Although, having met your mother, [sotto voce] nutloaf would be more appropriate.
[Rose looks down, smiling]
The Doctor: Is that a smile?
Rose: [looking up, straightfaced] No.
The Doctor: I think it was.
Rose: No, it wasn't.
The Doctor: [grinning] That was a smile.
(Doctor Who: Children in Need Special 2005)
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[The TARDIS is thrown out of the time vortex and bounces off a building, crashes into a post van and skids through some bins, then the Doctor walks out, stumbling.]
The Doctor: Here we are then. London, Earth, the Solar System - I did it! [Upon seeing Jackie and Mickey:] Jackie, Mickey, blimey! No, no, no, no, hold on. Wait there! What was I going to say? I had something I had to tell you. Something important, what was it? No, hold on, hold on. Tch tch tch tch.... Oh, I know! Merry Christmas! [keels over, unconscious]
[Rose comes out of the TARDIS]
Rose: Is he all right?
Jackie: I dunno, he just sort of keeled over.
Mickey: Who is he? Where's the Doctor?
Rose: That's him; right in front of you. That's the Doctor.
Jackie: What d'you mean that's the Doctor? Doctor Who?
	(Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion)
%
The Doctor: My head! I'm having a neural implosion. I need-
Jackie: What do you need?
The Doctor: I need-
Jackie: Just say it; tell me!
The Doctor: I need--
Jackie: Tell me, tell me!
The Doctor: I need-
Jackie: Painkillers?
The Doctor: [increasingly frustrated] I need-
Jackie: D'you need aspirin?
The Doctor: I need-
Jackie: Umm, codeine, Paracetamol? Oh I dunno, Pepto-Bismol?
The Doctor: I need-
Jackie: Liquid paraffin? Vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin E?
The Doctor: I need-
Jackie: [getting hysterical] Is it food? Something simple, bowl of soup, nice bowl of soup, soup and a sandwich?! Oh, soup, and a little ham sandwich?!
The Doctor: [snapping] I need you to SHUT UP!
Jackie: [to Rose, offended] Oh, he hasn't changed that much, has he?
	(Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion)
%
The Doctor: [in intense physical discomfort] We haven't got much time; if there's pilot fish then there's... [stops short; pulls a green apple out of his pocket] Why is there an apple in my dressing gown?
Jackie: Oh, that's Howard; sorry.
The Doctor: He keeps apples in his dressing gown?
Jackie: Gets hungry.
The Doctor: What, he gets hungry in his sleep?
Jackie: Sometimes. [the Doctor keels over, wracked with pain]
	(Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion)
%
[Recurring line]
Harriet Jones: [brandishing ID card] Harriet Jones, Prime Minister.
Responder: Well, yes, I know who you are.
	(Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion)
%
Harriet Jones: [To someone offscreen] Did we ask anyone about the Royal Family? [beat] Oh. [beat] They're on the roof.
	(Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion)
%
The Doctor: Oi, you could have someone's eye out with that!
[The Doctor takes away and deactivates the Leader's energy whip, then grabs the Leader's staff and snaps it in two.]
The Doctor: You just can't get the staff. [points at him] Now you! Just wait, I'm busy! [Aside] Mickey, hello! And Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North! Blimey, it's like This Is Your Life! [to Rose] Tea! That's all I needed! Good cup of tea! Super-heated infusion of free-radicals and tannins, just the thing for healing the synapses. Now, first things first. Be honest. How do I look?
Rose: Umm... different.
The Doctor: Good different or bad different?
Rose: Just.... different.
The Doctor: Am I.... ginger?
Rose: No, you're just sort of.... brown.
The Doctor: [disappointed] Aw, I wanted to be ginger! I've never been ginger! And you, Rose Tyler! Fat lot of good you were! You gave up on me! [Rose looks annoyed] Ooh, that's rude.... Is that the sort of man I am now? Am I rude? Rude and not ginger.
	(Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion)
%
Harriet Jones: Who is this!?
Rose: That's the Doctor.
Harriet Jones: Not my Doctor! Or is it just an honorary title that gets passed down?
The Doctor: No, I'm him; I'm literally him. Same man, new face. Well, new everything.
Harriet Jones: That can't be!
The Doctor: Harriet Jones. We were trapped in Downing Street, and the thing that scared you most wasn't the aliens; it wasn't the war; it was the thought of your mother being alone.
Harriet Jones: [realising] Oh my God!
The Doctor: [smiling] Did you win the election?
Harriet Jones: [nodding] Landslide majority.
Sycorax Leader: [angrily] If I may interrupt...!
The Doctor: Yes, sorry; hello there, big fella!
Sycorax Leader: Who exactly are you?
The Doctor: [Grinning] Well, that's the question!
Sycorax Leader: [Bellowing] I demand to know who you are!
The Doctor: [Mimicking] I don't knooooow! [normal] See, there's the thing. I'm the Doctor, but beyond that.... I-I just don't know, I literally do not know who I am. It's all untested. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? [winks at Rose] Right old misery? Life and soul? Right-handed? Left-handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor? A liar? A nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence I've certainly got a gob! And how am I gonna react when I see this? A great big threatening button. Ah-hah.
[sees the control matrix and runs up to it]
The Doctor: A great big threatening button which must not be pressed under any circumstances, am I right? Let me guess, it's some sort of control matrix, hmm? Hold on, what's feeding it? And what have we got here? Blood? :[tastes] Yep, definitely, blood, human blood, A-positive, with just a dash of iron. Haagh. But that means.... blood control; blood control!! Awwww, I haven't seen blood control for years! You're controlling all the A-positives. Which leaves us with a great, big, stinking problem. 'Cause I really don't know who I am. I don't know when to stop. So if I see a great, big, threatening button -which should never, ever, ever be pressed- then I just wanna do this!
[Presses the button]
	(Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion)
%
Alex: You've killed them!!
The Doctor: What do you think, big fella; are they dead?
Sycorax Leader: [dejected] We allowed them to live.
The Doctor: "Allowed"?! You had no choice! See, that's all blood control is; cheap bit of voodoo. Scares the pants off of you, but that's as far as it goes. It's like hypnosis; you can hypnotise someone to walk like a chicken or sing like Elvis, but you can't hypnotise them to death. Survival instinct's too strong.
Sycorax Leader: Blood control is just one form of conquest. I could summon the armada and take this world by force!
The Doctor: Well... you could do that. Yeah, you could do that, of course you could! But why? Look at these people, these human beings; consider their potential! From the day they arrive on the planet, blinking, step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than- no, hold on. Sorry, that's The Lion King. But, the point still stands: Leave them alone!
	(Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion)
%
[During the swordfight, the Sycorax Leader has sliced the Doctor's sword-hand off]
The Doctor: You cut my hand off!
[The Sycorax Leader bellows with triumph]
The Doctor: And now I know what sort of man I am. I'm lucky, because quite by chance, I'm still within the first fifteen hours of my regeneration cycle, which means I have just enough residual cellular energy to do this.
[The Doctor's hand grows back]
Sycorax Leader: [shocked] Witchcraft!
The Doctor: Time Lord.
Rose: Doctor!
[She throws the Doctor a new sword]
The Doctor: Oh, so I'm still The Doctor then?
Rose: No arguments from me.
'The Doctor [In quasi-Southern Appalachian accent] You wanna know the best bit? This new hand - it's a fightin hand!
	(Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion)
%
[After defeating the Sycorax Leader in single combat]
The Doctor: Not bad for a man in his jim-jams, very Arthur Dent- now, there was a nice man. [Reaching into pocket] Now what have I got in here? [pulls out a satsuma] A satsuma. Oh, that friend of your mother's, he does like his snacks, doesn't he? But doesn't that just sum up Christmas? You go through all those presents and right at the end, there's always one stupid old satsuma! Who wants a satsuma?
	(Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion)
%
[After dispatching the Sycorax Leader -who was attempting to stab him in the back- with use of a satsuma]
The Doctor: No second chances. I'm that sort of a man.
	(Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion)
%
The Doctor: So, the year five billion, the sun expands, the earth gets roasted.
Rose: That was our first date.
The Doctor: We had chips. [Rose chuckles] So anyway, planet gone. All rocks and dust, but the human race lives on spread out across the stars. Soon as the earth burns up, ooh they get all nostalgic, big revival movement. So they find this place. Same size as the earth. Same air, same orbit. Lovely. All those outer humans move in.
Rose: What's the city called?
The Doctor: New New York.
Rose: Oh, come on.
The Doctor: It is! It's the city of New New York! Strictly speaking, it's the fifteenth New York since the original, so that makes it New New-New-New-New New-New-New-New-New New-New-New-New-New New York.
[Rose laughs]
The Doctor: What?
Rose: You're so different.
The Doctor: New-New Doctor.
	(Doctor Who: New Earth)
%
Cassandra: [recognising Rose] Rose Tyler, I knew it! That dirty blonde assassin!
Chip: She's coming here, mistress.
Cassandra: But this is beyond coincidence. This is destiny! At last I can be revenged on that little b--
[cut to Rose and the Doctor chatting elsewhere]
Rose: Bit rich, coming from you.
	(Doctor Who: New Earth)
%
Rose: What about the skin? I saw it. You.... You got ripped apart!
Cassandra: That piece of skin was taken from the front of my body. This piece is the back.
Rose: [grins, laughs], right, so you're talking out of your ar-
Cassandra: Ask not!
	(Doctor Who: New Earth)
%
Cassandra: [after possessing Rose. Horrified] Oh, my God.... I'm a Chav!
	(Doctor Who: New Earth)
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Doctor: [After being kissed by Cassandra as Rose] [runs hand through hair] Still got it.
	(Doctor Who: New Earth)
%
Cassandra: [inside Rose's body and referring to the humans in "Intensive Care"] Just to confirm, none of the humans in the city actually know about this?
Novice Hame: We thought it better if-
The Doctor: Okay, okay, I can understand the bodies, I can understand your vows. One thing I can't understand: What have you done to Rose?
Novice Hame: [taken aback] I- don't know what you mean.
The Doctor: [dangerous] I'm being very, very calm. You want to be aware of that. Very, very calm. And the only reason I'm being so very very calm is that the brain is a delicate thing. Whatever you've done to Rose's head I want it reversed!
Novice Hame: We haven't done anything.
Cassandra: I'm perfectly fine.
The Doctor: These people are dying, and Rose would care.
Cassandra: Oh, all right clever clogs. Smarty pants. Lady killer.
The Doctor: What's happened to you?
Cassandra: I knew the sisters were up to something, but I needed this body, and your mind, to work it out.
The Doctor: Who are you?
Cassandra: [leaning in to mutter in his ear] The last human.
The Doctor: Cassandra?
Cassandra: Wake up and smell the perfume.
[Cassandra sprays him in the face with a small bottle, knocking him out.]
	(Doctor Who: New Earth)
%
Cassandra: We're trapped! What are we going to do?
The Doctor: Well, for starters, you're going to leave that body. That psychograft is banned on every civilized planet! You're compressing Rose to death.
Cassandra: But I have no where to go. My original skin's dead [said spitefully].
The Doctor: Not my problem. You can float as atoms in the air. Now get out. [Points sonic screwdriver towards Cassandra] Give her back to me.
Cassandra: You asked for it. [Leaves Rose's body, and enters The Doctor's body]
Rose: Blimey, my head. Where did she go?
Cassandra: [in the Doctor's body] Oooh my. This is.... different.
Rose: Cassandra?
Cassandra: Goodness me, I'm a man! Yum. So many parts! And hardly used. Ungh- Ohhhh! Two hearts! Oh baby, I'm beating out a samba!
Rose: Get out of him!
Cassandra: Oooh, he's slim. And a little bit foxy. [speaks suggestively to Rose] You thought so too. I've been inside your head. You've been looking....you like it!
	(Doctor Who: New Earth)
%
The Doctor: You were supposed to be dying.
Face of Boe: There are better things to do today. Dying can wait.
	(Doctor Who: New Earth)
%
The Doctor: [on the Face of Boe's last words to him, before teleporting away] That is enigmatic - that is textbook enigmatic.
	(Doctor Who: New Earth)
%
Cassandra: [in Chip's body] Ooooh, sweet Lord. I'm a walking doodle!
	(Doctor Who: New Earth)
%
[Having intended to land in 1979, the Doctor and Rose find themselves in 1879, surrounded by armed soldiers]
The Doctor: 1879... same difference.
Captain Reynolds: You will explain your presence... and the nakedness of this girl.
The Doctor: [in Tennant's own Scottish accent] Are we in Scotland?
Captain Reynolds: How can you be ignorant of that?
The Doctor: Oh, I'm- I'm dazed and confused. I've been chasing this wee naked child over hill and over dale. Ain't that right, ya.... tim'rous beastie?
Rose: Uh- uh.... [adopting a terrible Scottish accent] och aye, I've been oot and aboot-
The Doctor: [quietly to Rose, in his normal accent] No, don't do that.
Rose: Hoots, mon!
The Doctor: [still quiet] No, really don't. Really.
	(Doctor Who: Tooth and Claw)
%
Rose: I want her to say "we are not amused". I bet you five quid I can make her say it.
The Doctor: Well, if I gambled on that, it would be an abuse of my privilege as a traveller in time.
Rose: Ten quid?
The Doctor: Done.
	(Doctor Who: Tooth and Claw)
%
The Doctor: She's a feral child. I bought her for sixpence in Old London Towne. It was her or the Elephant Man.
Rose: Thinks he funny, but I'm so not amused. What do you think, ma'am?
	(Doctor Who: Tooth and Claw)
%
Rose: What do we do?
The Doctor: We run.
Rose: What, is that it?
The Doctor: Got any silver bullets?
Rose: Not on me, no.
The Doctor: There you are then, we run. [to Queen Victoria] Your Majesty, as a doctor, I suggest a vigorous jog; good for the health!
	(Doctor Who: Tooth and Claw)
%
Rose: [about the Koh-i-Noor] How much is that worth?
The Doctor: They say, the wages of the entire planet for a whole week.
Rose: Good job my mum's not here or she'd be fighting the wolf off with her bare hands for that thing.
The Doctor: She'd win.
	(Doctor Who: Tooth and Claw)
%
Queen Victoria: By the power invested in me by the Church and the State, I dub thee Sir Doctor of TARDIS. By the power invested in me by the Church and the State, I dub thee Dame Rose of the Powell Estate.
	(Doctor Who: Tooth and Claw)
%
Queen Victoria: And you may think on this, also. That I am not amused!
Rose: [as the Doctor admits defeat] Yes!
	(Doctor Who: Tooth and Claw)
%
The Doctor: But the funny thing is, Queen Victoria actually did suffer a mutation of the blood. It's historical record; she was haemophiliac - they used to call it the Royal disease. But it's always been a mystery because she didn't inherit it; her mum didn't have it, her dad didn't have it - it came from nowhere.
Rose: And what, you're saying that's a wolf bite?
The Doctor: Well.... maybe haemophilia is just a Victorian euphemism.
Rose: For werewolf?
The Doctor: Could be.
Rose: Queen Victoria's a werewolf.
The Doctor: Could be. And, her children had the Royal disease. Maybe she gave them a quick nip.
Rose: So the royal family are werewolves?
The Doctor: Well, maybe not yet, a single wolf cell would take.... a hundred years to mature? Might be ready by early 21st century?
Rose: Nah, that's just ridiculous. Mind you, Princess Anne-
The Doctor: I'll say no more.
Rose: [giggling] And if you think about it, they're very private. They plan everything in advance. They could schedule themselves round the moon, and we'd never know! [she and the Doctor enter the TARDIS] They like hunting! They love blood sport! [as the TARDIS dematerialises] Oh my god, they're werewolves! [the Doctor and Rose make howling noises]
	(Doctor Who: Tooth and Claw)
%
The Doctor: [posing as a teacher, introducing himself to class] So, physics! Physics, eh? Physics! Phyyyysics! Physics, Physics, Physics, Physics, Physics Physics, Physics, Physics, Physics... I hope you're getting all this down!
	(Doctor Who: School Reunion)
%
The Doctor: Correctamundo! A word I've never used before, and hopefully never will again.
	(Doctor Who: School Reunion)
%
Dinner lady: [to Rose, who is pretending to be a dinner lady herself] You are not permitted to leave your station during a sitting!
Rose: I was just talking to this teacher.
The Doctor: [smiling] Hello!
Rose: He doesn't like the chips.
Dinner lady: The menu has been specifically designed by the headmaster to improve concentration and performance. Now back to work!
Rose: [motioning to her frock as she turns to walk away] See? This is me: dinner lady...
The Doctor: I'll have the crumble!
Rose: [walking away] I am so gonna kill you...
	(Doctor Who: School Reunion)
%
[Sarah Jane Smith has discovered the TARDIS in its hiding space; The Doctor is watching her as she backs out the door]
The Doctor: Hello, Sarah Jane.
Sarah: It's you.... oh Doctor. Oh, my god. It's you, isn't- You've regenerated.
The Doctor: Yeah, half a dozen times since we last met.
Sarah: You look.... incredible.
The Doctor: So do you.
Sarah: Hmm; I got old. What're you doing here?
The Doctor: Well... UFO sightings, the school gets record result; I couldn't resist. What about you?
Sarah: Same.
[both laugh]
Sarah: [Crying] I thought you died; I waited for you, you didn't come back and I thought you must've died.
The Doctor: I lived. Everyone else died.
Sarah: What do you mean?
The Doctor: Everyone died, Sarah.
Sarah: I can't believe it's you.
[Mickey screams in the distance]
Sarah: Okay! Now I can.
	(Doctor Who: School Reunion)
%
[Mickey has just discovered a closet full of dead rats.]
Mickey: Sorry; sorry it's only me. You told me to investigate so I started looking through some of these cupboards, and all these fell out of them.
Rose: Oh my God, they're rats. Dozens of rats; vacuum packed rats!
The Doctor: And you decided to scream?
Mickey: They took me by surprise!
The Doctor: [mocking] Like a little girl?
Mickey: It was dark! I was covered in rats!
The Doctor: Maybe 9, ten years old; I'm seeing pigtails; a frilly skirt!
Rose: Hello; can we focus?
	(Doctor Who: School Reunion)
%
The Doctor: When Finch arrived, he brought with him seven teachers, four dinner ladies and a nurse. Thirteen; thirteen big bat people. Come on.
	(Doctor Who: School Reunion)
%
[Sarah opens her car's boot and lifts a quilt, revealing K-9]
The Doctor: K-9! Rose Tyler, Mickey Smith, allow me to introduce K-9! Well, K-9 Mark III, to be precise.
Rose: Why does he look so.... disco?
The Doctor: Oi! Listen, in the year 5000, this was cutting edge! What's happened to him?
Sarah: One day, just *phut*, nothing!
The Doctor: Well, didn't you try to get him repaired?!
Sarah: It's not like getting parts for a Mini Metro! Plus the technology inside him could rewrite human science- I couldn't show him to anyone!
The Doctor: [mollycoddling an inactive K-9] Aww.... what has the nasty lady done to you, eh?
	(Doctor Who: School Reunion)
%
The Doctor: They're Krillitanes.
Rose: Is that bad?
The Doctor: Very. Imagine how bad things could possibly get, and then add another suitcase full of bad.
	(Doctor Who: School Reunion)
%
Rose: How many of us have there been travelling with you?
The Doctor: Does it matter?
Rose: Yeah, it does, if I'm just the latest in a long line.
The Doctor: As opposed to what?
Rose: I thought you and me were- Well, I obviously got it wrong. I've been to the year 5 billion, right, but this.... Now, this is really seeing the future. You just leave us behind. Is that what you're gonna do to me?
The Doctor: No. Not to you.
Rose: But Sarah Jane. You were that close to her once, and now, you never even mention her. Why not?
The Doctor: I don't age. I regenerate. But humans decay; you wither and you die. Imagine watching that happen to someone that you l- [The Doctor breaks off]
Rose: What, Doctor?
The Doctor: You can spend the rest of your life with me.... but I can't spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on. Alone. That's the curse of the Time Lords.
	(Doctor Who: School Reunion)
%
Sarah: I saw things you wouldn't believe!
Rose: Try me.
Sarah: Mummies.
Rose: I've met ghosts.
Sarah: Robots. Lots of robots.
Rose: Slitheen. In Downing Street.
Sarah: Daleks!
Rose: [smugly] Met the Emperor.
Sarah: Anti-matter monsters!
Rose: Gas-mask zombies!
Sarah: Real living dinosaurs!
Rose: Real living werewolf!
Sarah: The. Loch Ness. Monster!
Rose: [stunned] Seriously?
	(Doctor Who: School Reunion)
%
Rose: With you, did he do that thing where he'd explain something at, like, ninety miles per hour, and you'd go "What?" and he'd look at you like you'd just dribbled on your shirt?
Sarah: All the time! Does he still stroke bits of the TARDIS?
Rose: Yeah! Yeah, he does! I'm like, "Do you two wanna be alone?"
[Both laugh as the Doctor enters]
The Doctor: How's it going?
[Rose and Sarah laugh hysterically]
The Doctor: What? Listen, I need to find out what's programmed inside these-
[Rose and Sarah are still laughing]
The Doctor: What?
[Rose and Sarah are falling over laughing]
The Doctor: Stop it!
	(Doctor Who: School Reunion)
%
[K-9 has come to the rescue of the others, attacked by Krillitanes]
K-9: Suggest you engage running mode, mistress!
[The Doctor, Rose, Mickey and Sarah flee the school hall whilst K-9 fires at the Krillitanes, who begin to attack K-9 instead]
K-9: Maximum defence mode!
Mr. Finch: [to Krillitanes, exasperated] Forget the shooty dog thing!
	(Doctor Who: School Reunion)
%
K-9: Capacity for only one shot, Master. For maximum impact, I must be placed directly beside the vat.
The Doctor: But you'll be trapped inside!
K-9: That is correct.
The Doctor: I can't let you do that!
K-9: No alternative possible.
The Doctor: [sadly] Goodbye, old friend.
K-9: Goodbye, Master.
The Doctor: [affectionately stroking K-9's "snout"] You're a good dog.
K-9: [wagging his "tail"] Affirmative!
	(Doctor Who: School Reunion)
%
[Coming across K-9, alone in the kitchen]
Mr. Finch: The little dog with the nasty bite. [Smugly] Not so powerful now!
[K-9 shoots a barrel, splattering toxic Krillitane oil over the Krillitanes]
Mr. Finch: You bad dog!
K-9: [smugly] Affirmative!
	(Doctor Who: School Reunion)
%
Sarah: Well, I'd better go.
[Takes Rose aside]
Rose: [Quietly] What do I do? Do I stay with him?
Sarah: Yes. Some things are worth getting your heart broken for.
[Sarah hugs Rose]
Sarah: Find me... if you need to, one day. Find me.
	(Doctor Who: School Reunion)
%
Sarah Jane: Goodbye, Doctor.
The Doctor: Oh, it's not goodbye...
Sarah Jane: Say it, please! This time. Say it.
The Doctor: Goodbye.... [smiling] 'my' Sarah Jane! [he hugs her tightly]
	(Doctor Who: School Reunion)
%
[The TARDIS has just dematerialised, leaving a shiny, rebuilt K-9 Mark IV behind]
Sarah Jane: [gleefully] K-9!
K-9: Affirmative, Mistress.
Sarah Jane: But you were blown up!
K-9: Master rebuilt me; my systems are much improved with new omniflexible hyperlink facilities.
Sarah Jane: Oh, he replaced you with a brand new model!
K-9: Affirmative!
Sarah Jane: Yeah, he does that. Come on you, home; we've got work to do.
K-9: Affirmative.
[Sarah Jane and K9 walk off]
	(Doctor Who: School Reunion)
%
Mickey: I'm their man in Havana. (shocked) I'm the tin dog!
	(Doctor Who: School Reunion)
%
[Referring to the link between the spaceship and Reinette's bedroom]
The Doctor: Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink.
Mickey: What's that?
The Doctor: No idea. Just made it up. Didn't want to say "magic door".
Rose: And on the other side of the "magic door" is France in 1727?
The Doctor: Well, she was speaking French. Right period French as well.
Mickey: She was speaking English, I heard it!
Rose: That's the TARDIS; translates for you.
Mickey: Even French??
	(Doctor Who: The Girl in the Fireplace)
%
[The clockwork man is attempting to kill The Doctor]
The Doctor: Don't worry, Reinette, just a nightmare. Everyone has nightmares. Even monsters from under the bed have nightmares, don't you, monster?
Reinette: What do monsters have nightmares about?
The Doctor: Me!
	(Doctor Who: The Girl in the Fireplace)
%
The Doctor: [excited] No, no, no way, Reinette Poisson? Later Madame D'Etoiles, later still mistress of Louis XV, uncrowned Queen of France? Actress, artist, musician, dancer, courtesan. Fantastic gardener!
French Servant: Who the hell are you?!
The Doctor: [giddy] I'm the Doctor, and I just snogged Madame de Pompadour!
	(Doctor Who: The Girl in the Fireplace)
%
Rose: Oh, here's trouble. What you been up to?
The Doctor: Oh, this and that. Became the imaginary friend of a future French aristocrat, picked a fight with a clockwork man... [A whinny is heard from off screen] Oh, and I met a horse.
Mickey: What's a horse doing on a spaceship?
The Doctor: Mickey, what's pre-revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective!
	(Doctor Who: The Girl in the Fireplace)
%
[After the clockwork-man disappears a second time]
The Doctor:It's back on the ship! Rose! Take Mickey and Arthur, get after it, follow it. Don't approach it, just watch what it does.
Rose: Arthur?
The Doctor: Good name for a horse.
Rose: [beat] No, you are not keeping the horse!
The Doctor: I let you keep Mickey!
	(Doctor Who: The Girl in the Fireplace)
%
Mickey: So, that Doctor, eh?
Rose: What are you talking about?
Mickey: Well! Madame de Pompadour. Sarah Jane Smith. Cleopatra.
Rose: Cleopatra; he mentioned her once.
Mickey: Yeah, but he called her "Cleo".
	(Doctor Who: The Girl in the Fireplace)
%
[about Madame de Pompadour]
Rose: [sarcastically] The Queen must have loved her.
The Doctor: Oh, she did. They got on very well.
Mickey: The King's wife and the King's girlfriend?
The Doctor: France. It's a different planet.
	(Doctor Who: The Girl in the Fireplace)
%
[Mickey and Rose are strapped to tables on the Clockwork Droids' ship]
Clockwork Droid: You are compatible.
Rose: Well, you might want to think about that. You really, really might because me and Mickey; we didn't come here alone. No, no. And trust me, you wouldn't want to mess with our designated driver.
[The Clockwork Droid snaps out a cutting tool at Rose's throat]
Rose: Ever heard of the Daleks? Remember them? They had a name for our friend. They had myths about him and a name. They called him "The. . ."
[The Doctor is heard singing and banging about]
Rose: They. . .they. . .they called him. . .
[The Doctor stumbles in; tie tied around his head, wearing sunglasses, and carrying a glass of wine]
The Doctor: [singing] I could've spread my wings and done a thou... [breaks off] Have you met the French? My God, they know how to party!
Rose: [disgusted] Oh, look at what the cat dragged in: "The Oncoming Storm."
The Doctor: You sound just like your mother.
Rose: What have you been doing? Where have you been?!
The Doctor: Well, among other things, I think I just invented the Banana Daquiri a couple of centuries early. Did you know they've never even seen a banana before? Always take a banana to a party, Rose. Bananas are good.
	(Doctor Who: The Girl in the Fireplace)
%
Reinette: One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel.
	(Doctor Who: The Girl in the Fireplace)
%
Reinette: But you and I both know, don't we, Rose? The Doctor is worth the monsters.
	(Doctor Who: The Girl in the Fireplace)
%
[After making a heroic entrance to the besieged ballroom at Versailles]
Reinette: Oh, this is my lover, the King of France.
The Doctor: [dismissive] Yeah? Well I'm the Lord of Time.
	(Doctor Who: The Girl in the Fireplace)
%
[To one of the maintenance droids after smashing the time portal, stranding them in the 18th Century]
The Doctor: How many beats left in that clockwork heart? A day? A year? It's over. Accept that.
	(Doctor Who: The Girl in the Fireplace)
%
John Lumic: [On the Cybermen] Skin of metal, and a body that will never age!
	(Doctor Who: Rise of the Cybermen)
%
[Lumic has refused to inform governing bodies of the development of the Cybermen]
Scientist: I'm sorry, sir, but it's my duty, I'll have to inform them.
John Lumic: And how will you inform them from beyond the grave?
Scientist: I don't understand.
John Lumic [To Cyberman] Kill him.
[Cyberman electrocutes the Scientist]
	(Doctor Who: Rise of the Cybermen)
%
[The Doctor and Rose are recalling a humourous adventure they had been on; Mickey is gingerly holding down a button on the TARDIS console]
The Doctor: Umm... what are you doing that for?
Mickey: 'Cause you told me to.
The Doctor: When was that?
Mickey: About half an hour ago.
The Doctor: [sheepish] Umm... you can let go now.
[Mickey lets go to an audible 'bleep' from the TARDIS, Rose quietly giggles]
Mickey: How long has it been since I could've stopped?
The Doctor: Ten minutes? Twenty? [beat] Twenty-nine?
Mickey: You just forgot me!
The Doctor: No, no, no, I was jus-- I was-- I was calibrating! I was jus-- No, I know exactly what I'm doing.
[Right on cue, an explosion emanates from the TARDIS console]
	(Doctor Who: Rise of the Cybermen)
%
The Doctor: [Rose has run off] I told you to keep an eye on her!
Mickey Smith: She's all right...
The Doctor: She goes wandering off! Parallel world; it's like a gingerbread house! All those temptations calling her.
Mickey Smith: Oh, so it's just Rose then? Nothing out there to tempt me?
The Doctor: Well I dunno, I can't worry about everything! If I could just get this thing to...
[he kicks the TARDIS. Hard]
Mickey Smith: Did that help?
The Doctor: Yes.
Mickey Smith: Did that hurt?
The Doctor: Yes.
[Clutches foot]
The Doctor: Ow!
	(Doctor Who: Rise of the Cybermen)
%
[The Doctor and Rose watch Lumic's creations approach the Tyler house]
The Doctor: [horrified] It's happening again!
Rose: What you mean?
The Doctor: I've seen them before.
Rose: What are they?
The Doctor: Cybermen.
	(Doctor Who: Rise of the Cybermen)
%
[Cybermen have invaded Pete and Jackie's home, imprisoning the President and all guests. Suddenly, the President receives a phone call.]
President: [quiet anger] Mr Lumic.
John Lumic: Mr President. I suppose the term "crashing the party" would be appropriate at this point, sir. [chuckles]
President: I forbade this.
John Lumic: These are my children, sir! Would you deny my family?
Rose: [To the Doctor, about the Cybermen] What are they, robots?
The Doctor: Worse than that.
President: Who were these people?
John Lumic: It doesn't matter.
Rose: [Shocked] They're people?
The Doctor: They were. Until they had all their humanity taken away. It's a living brain jammed inside a cybernetic body, with a heart of steel. All emotions removed.
Rose: Why no emotion?
The Doctor: Because it hurts.
President: [Raging] I demand to know, Lumic! These people, WHO WERE THEY?!
John Lumic: They were homeless, and wretched, and useless. Until I saved them, and elevated them, and gave them life eternal. And now I leave you in their capable hands. Goodnight, sir. Goodnight, Mr President.
	(Doctor Who: Rise of the Cybermen)
%
[A Cyberman stops in-front of the President]
Cyberman: We have been upgraded.
The Doctor: Into what?
Cyberman: The next level of mankind. We are human-point-2. Every citizen will receive a free upgrade. You will become like us.
President: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, for what's been done to you. But listen to me. This experiment ends. Tonight.
Cyberman: Upgrading is compulsory.
President: And if I refuse?
The Doctor: [warning] Don't.
President: [ignores the Doctor] What if I refuse?
The Doctor: I'm telling you, don't.
President: What happens if I refuse?
Cyberman: Then you are not compatible.
President: What happens then?
Cyberman: You will be deleted. [suddenly electrocutes him]
	(Doctor Who: Rise of the Cybermen)
%
[Surrounded by Cybermen]
The Doctor: We surrender! There's no need to damage us; we're good stock. We volunteer for the upgrade programme. Take us to be processed.
Cyberman: You are rogue elements.
The Doctor: But we surrender.
Cyberman: You are incompatible.
The Doctor: [more angry] But this is a surrender!
Cyberman: You will be deleted.
The Doctor: But we're surrendering! Listen to me, we surrender!!
Cyberman: You are inferior. Man will be reborn as Cyberman, but you will perish under maximum deletion. Delete! Delete! Delete! Delete!
	(Doctor Who: Rise of the Cybermen)
%
[Inside the Preachers' van]
Pete: I thought it was the security services, what do I get? Scooby-Doo and his gang! They've even got the van!
Mickey: No, no, but the Preachers know what they're doing. Ricky said he's London's most wanted.
Ricky: Yeah, that's not exactly...
Mickey: Not exactly what?
Ricky: I'm London's most wanted for... parking tickets.
Pete: Great.
Ricky: Yeah, they were deliberate, I was fighting the system! Park anywhere, That's me.
The Doctor: Good policy. I do much the same.
	(Doctor Who: The Age of Steel)
%
[Walking into Cybercontrol, where Pete Tyler and Rose are already captured]
The Doctor: [nonchalant] I've been captured, but no worry, Rose and Pete are still out there, they can rescue me, oh well never mind...
Rose: They got Jackie.
Pete: We were too late; Lumic killed her.
The Doctor: And where is he? The famous Mr. Lumic? Don't we get the chance to meet our lord and master?
Cyberman: He has been upgraded.
The Doctor: So he's just like you?
Cyberman: He is superior. The Lumic unit has been designated Cyber Controller.
[A door slides open and a large chair made up of a mass of wires rolls forward. The Cyberman seated on it has glowing eyes and a visible brain, and is connected to several of the wires.]
Cyber Controller: This is the Age of Steel, and I am its creator.
	(Doctor Who: The Age of Steel)
%
[As the newly freed humans panic and escape the Cyberfactory]
The Doctor: Mr. Lumic, I think that's a vote for free will.
Cyber Controller: I have factories waiting on seven continents. If the EarPods have failed, then the Cybermen will take humanity by force. London has fallen; so shall the world.
	(Doctor Who: The Age of Steel)
%
Cyber Controller: I will bring peace to the world. Everlasting peace. And unity. And uniformity.
The Doctor: And imagination? What about that? The one thing that led you here, imagination. You¿re killing it dead!
Cyber Controller: What is your name?
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor.
Cyber Controller: A redundant title. Doctors need not exist. Cybermen never sicken.
The Doctor: But that¿s it! That¿s exactly the point! Oh, Lumic, you¿re a clever man. I¿d call you a genius... except I¿m in the room. But everything you¿ve invented you did to fight your sickness. And that¿s brilliant. That is so human. But once you get rid of sickness and mortality, then what¿s there to strive for, eh? The Cybermen won¿t advance, you¿ll just stop! You¿ll stay like this forever. A metal Earth with metal men and metal thoughts. Lacking the one thing that makes this planet so alive: people! Ordinary, stupid, brilliant people!
Cyber Controller: You are proud of your emotions?
The Doctor: Oh yes.
Cyber Controller: Then tell me, Doctor, have you known grief, and rage, and pain?
The Doctor: Yes. Yes, I have.
Cyber Controller: And they hurt?
The Doctor: Oh yes.
Cyber Controller: I can set you free. Would you not want that? A life without pain?
The Doctor: You might as well kill me.
Cyber Controller: Then I take that option.
The Doctor: It's not yours to take! You're a Cyber Controller! You don't control me or anything with blood in its heart!
[The Cybermen tense, as if prepared to attack him]
Cyber Controller: You have no means of stopping me. I have an army - a species of my own.
The Doctor: You just don¿t get it, do you? An army is nothing! 'Cause those ordinary people, they¿re the key. The most ordinary person could change the world! Some ordinary man or woman... Some idiot...
[This gets the attention of Mickey, who is listening in unbeknownst to the Cybermen]
The Doctor: [secretly instructing Mickey] All it takes is him to find the right numbers, the right codes. Say, for example, the code behind the emotional inhibitors. The code right in front of him, ¿cause even an idiot knows his computers these days! Knows how to get past firewalls and passwords, knows how to find something encrypted in the Lumic family database, under, er, what was it Pete, binary what?
Pete: Binary nine.
Mickey: [whispers] Binary nine!
The Doctor: An idiot could find that code. The cancellation code. And he¿d keep on typing, keep on fighting. Anything to save his friends.
Cyber Controller: Your words are irrelevant.
The Doctor: [chuckles] Yeah, talk to much, that's my problem! Lucky I got that cheap tariff Rose. For all our long chats on your phone.
Mickey: The phone.
Cyber Controller: You will be deleted.
The Doctor: Yes, ¿Delete,¿ ¿Control,¿ ¿Hash,¿ all those lovely buttons, then, of course, my particular favorite: ¿Send¿! And let's not forget how you seduced all those ordinary people in the first place... [Rose¿s phone beeps] ...by making every bit of technology compatible with every thing else.
Rose: It¿s for you. [Throws phone to the Doctor]
The Doctor: [Catches phone] Like this. [Puts the phone into a computer port, sending the code to all the Cybermen. They can now see what they have become, and as a result, chaos breaks loose as they begin to die.]
	(Doctor Who: The Age of Steel)
%
Mickey: Do you think there was a cyber factory in Paris? I've always wanted to go to Paris.
Jake: [smiling] Yeah.
Mickey: Then let's go liberate France.
Jake: What, in a van?
Mickey: There's nothing wrong with a van. I once saved the universe with a big yellow truck!
	(Doctor Who: The Age of Steel)
%
Rose: Where we off to?
The Doctor: Ed Sullivan TV studios. Elvis did "Hound Dog" on one of the shows, there were loads of complaints. Bit of luck, we'll just catch it.
Rose: And that would be TV studios in... what, New York?
The Doctor: That's the one.
[a red double-decker bus goes by, the Doctor hits the brakes]
Rose: Ha ha, dig that New York vibe.
The Doctor: Well, this could still be New York. I mean, this looks very New York to me. Sort of a London-y New York, mind you, but...
	(Doctor Who: The Idiot's Lantern)
%
[Mr. Connolly opens the front door]
The Doctor, Rose: Hi!
Eddie Connolly: Who are you, then?
The Doctor: Well, judging by the looks of you: family man, nice house, decent wage, fought in the war. Therefore, [flashes psychic paper] I represent Queen and Country. Don't mind if we come in, do you? Nah, didn't think you would.
	(Doctor Who: The Idiot's Lantern)
%
The Doctor: Hold on a minute. You've got hands, Mr. Connolly. Two big hands. So, why's that your wife's job?
Eddie Connolly: It's housework, isn't it?
The Doctor: And that's a woman's job?
Eddie Connolly: Course it is.
The Doctor: Mr. Connolly, what gender is the Queen?
Eddie Connolly: She's a female.
The Doctor: And are you suggesting that the Queen does all the housework?
Eddie Connolly: No! No, not at all!
The Doctor: Then, get busy.
Eddie Connolly: Right, yes sir. You'll be proud of us, sir. We'll have Union Jacks left, right, and center.
Rose: Excuse me, Mr. Connolly, hold on a minute. Union Jack?
Eddie Connolly: Yes, that's right, isn't it?
Rose: That's the Union Flag. It's the Union Jack only when it's flown at sea.
Eddie Connolly: Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. I- I do apologise.
Rose: Well, don't get it wrong again. There's a good man. Now, get to it!
The Doctor: Right. Nice and comfy. At her majesty's leisure. [Quietly to Rose] Union Flag?
Rose: Mum went out with a sailor.
The Doctor: Oh-ho, I bet she did.
	(Doctor Who: The Idiot's Lantern)
%
Rose: Nice to meet you Tommy, Mrs. Connolly.
Rose: And as for you Mr. Connolly, only an idiot hangs a union flag upside down. Shame on you.
[She grins madly, and runs off.]
	(Doctor Who: The Idiot's Lantern)
%
The Doctor: It's never too late, as a wise person once said; Kylie, I think.
	(Doctor Who: The Idiot's Lantern)
%
Detective-Inspector Bishop: Okay, Doctor, tell me everything you know.
Doctor: Well, for starters, I know you can't wrap your hands around your elbows and make your fingers meet.
Detective-Inspector Bishop: Don't get clever with me!
	(Doctor Who: The Idiot's Lantern)
%
Magpie: What do you think you're doing?
The Doctor: I want my friend restored. And I think that's beyond a little backstreet electrician. So tell me, who's really in charge here?
The Wire: [appears on a TV] Yoo-hoo! I think that must be me.
	(Doctor Who: The Idiot's Lantern)
%
Tommy: [to the Wire] What are you?
The Wire: I'm The Wire. And I will gobble you up, pretty boy. Every.... last.... morsel. [the female TV presenter image turns from black and white to colour] And when I have feasted, I shall regain the corporeal body which my fellow kind denied me.
Bishop: Good Lord! Colour television!
	(Doctor Who: The Idiot's Lantern)
%
Police Officer: Wait, where do you think you're... [sees psychic paper] Oh, very sorry, sir. Shouldn't you be at the coronation?
The Doctor: They're saving me a seat.
Tommy Connolly: Who did he think you were?
The Doctor: [looks at the psychic paper] The King of Belgium, apparently.
	(Doctor Who: The Idiot's Lantern)
%
[After trapping The Wire onto a video cassette]
The Doctor: I just invented the home video thirty years early. [dimissively] Betamax.
	(Doctor Who: The Idiot's Lantern)
%
Rose: That thing, is it trapped for good on video?
The Doctor: That's right. But just to be on the safe side though, I'll use my unrivalled knowledge of trans-temporal extrapolation methods to neutralise the residual electronic pattern.
Rose: You'll what?
The Doctor: I'm gonna tape over it.
Rose: Just leave it to me. I'm always doing that.
	(Doctor Who: The Idiot's Lantern)
%
[The TARDIS materialises and The Doctor and Rose walk out]
The Doctor: I don't know what's wrong though, she's sort of... queasy. Indigestion. Like she didn't want to land..
Rose: [deadpan] Well... if you think it's going to be trouble we could always... get back inside and go somewhere else...
[They both burst out laughing]
	(Doctor Who: The Impossible Planet)
%
[The Doctor opens a door and finds a corridor on the other side filled with Ood.]
The Doctor: Right! Yes! Hello! Sorry. Who are you?
Ood: We must feed!
The Doctor: You gotta what?
Ood: We must feed!
Rose: Right, I think they mean us!
Ood: We must feed!
[The Doctor and Rose run back into the room and find Ood entering from several corridors at once. Rose picks up a stool and The Doctor gets out his Sonic Screwdriver and points it at the Ood as they back into a wall]
Ood: We must feed! [Taps communication sphere.] You, if you are hungry.
The Doctor: What?
Ood: We apologise. Electromagnetic structures have interfered with speech systems. Would you like some refreshment?
The Doctor: [Stuttering] Oh, well, um...
[A door opens and Mr Jefferson walks in with two guards.]
Mr Jefferson: What the hell... [speaks into comm device] Captain... you're not gonna believe this but we got people! I mean, real people, I mean... two... living people right in front of me.
Zack: [Over comm] Don't be stupid, that's impossible!
Mr Jefferson: I'd suggest telling them that.
	(Doctor Who: The Impossible Planet)
%
Zack: [After just meeting The Doctor and Rose] Oh, my god, you meant it.
Scooti: Wow people, look at that, real people.
The Doctor: That's us. Hooray!
	(Doctor Who: The Impossible Planet)
%
The Doctor: I've trapped you here.
Rose: Oh, don't worry about me. [there is a rumble overhead] Okay...we're under a black hole...on a planet which shouldn't exist, with no way out. Right, I've changed my mind, start worrying about me.
	(Doctor Who: The Impossible Planet)
%
The Doctor: I'll have to get a house! With - with doors and carpets, can you imagine? Me, living in a house?!
Rose: [singsong voice] You'll have to get a mortgage!
The Doctor: No.
Rose: Oh, yes.
The Doctor: No. That's it, I'm dying. It is all over.
Rose: What about me? I'll have to get one too. Or - it could be the same one. [uncomfortably] We could... I don't know... share. [The Doctor stares at her] Or not, whatever.
The Doctor: [quickly] Anyway.
Rose: [just as fast] Yeah, we'll see.
The Doctor: I promised Jackie I would always take you back home.
Rose: Everyone leaves home in the end.
The Doctor: Not to end up stuck here!
Rose: Yeah, well stuck with you, that's not so bad.
The Doctor: [surprised] Yeah?
Rose: Yes.
	(Doctor Who: The Impossible Planet)
%
Ood: The Beast and his armies will rise from the pit to make war against God.
Rose: I'm sorry?
Ood: [whacks communication sphere] Apologies. I said "I hope you enjoy your meal".
	(Doctor Who: The Impossible Planet)
%
Ood: [possessed by the Beast] Some, they call me Abaddon. Some, they call me Krop Tor. Some, they call me Satan, or Lucifer.
	(Doctor Who: The Impossible Planet)
%
Ida: Well, we've come this far, there's no turning back.
The Doctor: Oh come on! Did you have to? "No turning back," that's almost as bad as "Nothing could possibly go wrong," or "This is gonna be the best Christmas Walford's ever had!"
Ida: [Frustrated] Have you finished?
[beat]
The Doctor: Yeah...finished.
	(Doctor Who: The Impossible Planet)
%
The Doctor: That is so human. Where angels fear to tread.
	(Doctor Who: The Satan Pit)
%
[The Beast communicates with everyone through the Ood]
The Beast: This is the Darkness. This is my domain. You little things that live in the light, clinging to your feeble suns which die in the end. Only the darkness remains.
Zack: This is Captain Zachary Cross Flane of Sanctuary Base 6, representing the Torchwood Archive. You will identify